#1
EDIT: See revised edition farther down the page


Those Simple Times


Remember those simple times
When things were what they seemed
Everyone was hopeful and we all had our dreams


Then we took the next step
And we realized how things work
Life’s not all bubble gum and raisins and soda pop
Sometimes you just have to row your boat
And hope to end up on top

Oh remember those simple times
When things were what they seemed
Everyone was hopeful and we all had our dreams

So step up to the plate
And keep your caution close by
Cause when life throws a curveball
You don’t get to try
When life throws a curveball
It’s a do or die
"Imagine all the people, sharing all the world"
-John Lennon
Last edited by Punk Rocker at Jan 7, 2007,
#2
I like it, eventhough it doesn't sound all that punk rock, maybe it's meant to a show a softer side I'm guessing. The lyrics lend well to those simple times you're talking about but like most everything else you could probably make it better.
#3
Thanks, I'm sure I definitly could improve. This is just the first draft.

Also, this is NOT meant to be a punk song. I'm out of the punk obbsessed state I used to be in. Its meant to be more like a Fleetwood Mac pop-rock type song.

And I will crit for crit if you leave a link.
"Imagine all the people, sharing all the world"
-John Lennon
#5
Quote by Punk Rocker
Life’s not all bubble gum and raisins and soda pop
Sometimes you just have to row your boat
And hope to end up on top


This definately needs revised, I dont think I could ever hear bubble gum, raisins, and soda pop in the same sentence in a song. No offence. I just could never hear it. The tides would rise, the earth would split open before that happened. Wait that has happened lol. Decent songs though.
#6
Quote by Punk Rocker
Those Simple Times


Remember those simple times
When things were what they seemed
Everyone was hopeful and we all had our dreams


Then we took the next step
And we realized how things work
Life’s not all bubble gum and raisins and soda pop
Sometimes you just have to row your boat
And hope to end up on top

Oh remember those simple times
When things were what they seemed
Everyone was hopeful and we all had our dreams

So step up to the plate
And keep your caution close byThis sounds kinda weird maybe choose a different word besides cuation close by im not exactly sure but just sounded off to me
Cause when life throws a curveball
You don’t get to try
When life throws a curveball
It’s a do or die


otherwise its catchy!

What does bubble gum raisens and soda pop represent anything in particular or just kinda like simple things?
#7
No those three things just came to mind and sounded good lol.

I think I'm going to change the last line of the first verse (the one about coming out on top) because I don't think it makes sense with a boat, maybe a mountain but not a boat. And I'm also going to change the whole last verse, because after reading it a few times it is horribly cliche. Agree? Disagree?
"Imagine all the people, sharing all the world"
-John Lennon
#8
Yea Punk Rocker, I think the last verse is horribly cliche, but its up to you entirely. Just use a different kind of analogy then baseball in a rock song, because it sounds countryish. Just a thought.
#9
REVISED EDITION:


Those Simple Times


Remember those simple times
When things were what they seemed
Everyone was hopeful and we all had our dreams


Then we took the next step
And we realized how things work
Life’s not all bubble gum and raisins and soda pop
You can’t just sail from today right into tomorrow
No matter what something is always there to make you stop

Oh remember those simple times
When things were what they seemed
Everyone was hopeful and we all had our dreams

Now there is too much to worry about
And not enough room to enjoy
Things that never mattered before mean the world now
So goodbye simple times
Now nothings as it seems
But one things for damn sure
We all still have our dreams
"Imagine all the people, sharing all the world"
-John Lennon
#10
Quote by Punk Rocker

Then we took the next step
And we realized how things work
Life’s not all bubble gum and raisins and soda pop
Sometimes you just have to row your boat
And hope to end up on top


This part is my favourite, it's got more originality to it than the rest of the lyrics have. Well written!
#11
Thanks, could you check out the revised edition also and compare the two?
"Imagine all the people, sharing all the world"
-John Lennon
#12
I only checked out the revised edition. It was a unique twist on some generic lyrics and it doesn't feel very corny the way you've written it. If, by your name, I can assume that this will be a punk song, I can see this fitting just fine.

I wouldn't praise it as a lyrical masterpiece, but I don't think you were aiming to write a masterpiece. Good stuff though.

Care to crit mine?
https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=499696
#13
I like the first verse in the non revised version, but i really really like the second verse in the revised version! great song.
If every simple song i wrote
would take your breath away
i'd write it all
#14
Now there is too much to worry about
And not enough room to enjoy
Things that never mattered before mean the world now
So goodbye simple times
Now nothings as it seems
But one things for damn sure
We all still have our dreams

i really like this part, it's perfect, well written!
If every simple song i wrote
would take your breath away
i'd write it all
#15
Remember those simple times
When things were what they seemed
Everyone was hopeful and we all had our dreams

I think it would flow more smoothly if the first line was " Remember all those simple times" and the last line was " Everyone was hopeful and we all had our own dreams". Otherwise it is well written in my opinion.

Then we took the next step
And we realized how things work
Life’s not all bubble gum and raisins and soda pop
You can’t just sail from today right into tomorrow
No matter what something is always there to make you stop

Pretty cool way you wrote this part.

Oh remember those simple times
When things were what they seemed
Everyone was hopeful and we all had our dreams

Same as the beginning.

Now there is too much to worry about
And not enough room to enjoy
Things that never mattered before mean the world now
So goodbye simple times
Now nothings as it seems
But one things for damn sure
We all still have our dreams

I started drifting away for the first few lines but I was drawn back in by the end of it. Otherwise it is pretty good.

Well awesome job on this song, and thanks for the crit on mine. Keep up the good work man.
Quote by The Spoon
I hope i dont get sigged but whats a dike?


Quote by blakkin
Yet another problem that can be easily solved by violent incest.




With Fingers Sore
#16
I like it. It envoked a sense of nostalgia in me.
Quote by Mike Birbiglia
I went to the doctor, and they found something in my bladder. And whenever they find something, it's never anything good like, "We found something in your bladder AND IT'S SEASON TICKETS TO THE YANKEES!!


Do you folks like folk?
#17
Thaks for the crit I think your points are all good and I shall change it accordingly

Remember those simple times
When things were what they seemed
Everyone was hopeful and we all had our dreams
Simple ideas conveyed here but it sounds kinda generic to me and that it needs something to pep it up a bit, more emotive/descriptive vocabulary perhaps.

Then we took the next step
And we realized how things work
Life’s not all bubble gum and raisins and soda pop
You can’t just sail from today right into tomorrow
No matter what something is always there to make you stop
This is much better I really like the fourth line and I'm guessing third is meant to be saying 'we're not kids anymore' or something similar, if it is its good, if it isn't it sunds really childish.

Oh remember those simple times
When things were what they seemed
Everyone was hopeful and we all had our dreams

Now there is too much to worry about
And not enough room to enjoy
Things that never mattered before mean the world now
So goodbye simple times
Now nothings as it seems
But one things for damn sure
We all still have our dreams
Good ending there but another part lacking description or poetic ideas like the 2nd stanza has, but just needs a bit of work.

Overall its quite good but needs some work on the language particularly the chorus (stanzas 1 and 3) could be quite effective after that though.
Lyrics Crit 4 Crit
More Graves To Fill (14-05-2009)
Jus Ad Bellum (10-05-2009)

Quote by ragebass89
That is ****in awesome! I mean not that he died, but the fact that monkeys killed him.