#1
Verse 1:
You countdown 10 seconds
'till the New Year
Like those 10 seconds will actually matter
You make all those resolutions
as if they'll actually help

Verse 2:
Go ahead,
give it your best try
you think, the year changed
so i can too,
but trust me
that's all a lie

Chorus:
Because no matter
what you say
you'll never change
and no matter
what you do
you'll always stay the same

Verse 3:
It's a New Year
but that's all it is
you read too much into it,
take it for more than it's worth
it's just another day
just another excuse
for college kids to get drunk

Chorus:
No matter
what you say
you'll never change
and no matter
what you do
you'll always stay the same


I'm not done i dont think, but i just dont know where to go. thanks for reading, crit4crit of course. it would be nice if you left a link, but if not at least a song name. thanks again!
Last edited by Cyclones41 at Jan 7, 2007,
#2
Verse three is my personal favorite. I think you would be best to leave it at that, keep it to the point.
Quote by soccermom
Of course eating unbelievable amounts of anything can probably harm you, but i chose bananas because they look like willies.
#3
Quote by Cyclones41
Verse 1:
You countdown 10 seconds
'till the New Year
Like those 10 seconds will actually matter
You make all those resolutions
as if they'll actually help
I like this verse though the flow could do with some work

Verse 2:
Go ahead,
give it your best try
you think, the year changed
so i can too,
but trust me
that's all lie
the last line doesn't make much sense. Maybe change it to thats all a lie, it just makes more sense.

Chorus:
Because no matter
what you say
you'll never change
and no matter
what you do
you'll always stay the same
Pretty catchy chorus though ive heard very similar lyrics before

Verse 3:
It's a New Year
but that's all it is
you read too much into it,
take it for more than it's worth
I like this, though you're right it could do with a bit more in it

I'm not even done with verse three i dont think, but i just dont know where to go. thanks for reading, crit4crit of course. it would be nice if you left a link, but if not at least a song name. thanks again!


Your verses appear to be structured differently from one another... though maybe you would sing it different to how i see it im not sure. Verse one has 5 lines... verse two 6 and verse three 4. Its got great potential though.
#5
i dont know much about writing songs and how they should be written, but i can relate to this song. ive known some people like that. good job.
#7
good idea but poor execution. your wording made this much more bland than it should've been. it doesn't need to be metaphorical or anything but it shouldn't be so... blunt, either. you know what i mean?

holla