#1
Hearts. Don't. Speak.

he treated her the best in the perfect way
He had no doubt, she would stay
He always tried to give her a sign
But he couldn't bring himself to say...

I Love You
I Need You
Why Can't We Be More
I Love You I Need You
Why Can't We Be More Than Friends

She would share any problem that crossed her mind
She was ready to leave this friendship thing behind
The closer they got, She wished he'd see
They could get so much deeper, Easily
No doubt in her mind, he would stay
But she couldn't bring herself to say...

I Love You
I Need You
Why Can't We Be More
I Love You I Need You
Why Can't We Be More Than Friends

A few year later
He got the call
To find out
She was gone

At the funeral
Her Diary was read aloud....

*In a way I never thought
I wished he could have caught
That sort of look I tried to send his way
And my love for him he'll never know
Because I just can't find a way to show
These things I didn't have the guts to say *

I love you
I need you
Why can't we be more
I love you I need you


This is a song a friend and i wrote, the * part is where a girl reads.
this is an actual song im doing, and i seem to like it how it is, i just need to add more in the first verse, let me know what you think.

-Matt
#2
um....plagiarism....and plagiarism from something that sucked
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ESP EX-102
Marshall AVT150 Half-Stack
#4
because it means you stole it from someone else. :P: [/joke]

ok, you change it COMPLETELY with the diary bit, until then it's REALLY cliche and too blunt for my liking, a little bit of mystery is good, try and make people think a little about what you mean

Quote by The Goo Goo Dolls

And i don't want the world to see me
Coz i don't think that they'd understand
When everythings meant to be broken
I just want you to know who i am


That's probably one of the best love songs to ever have massive radio play (number 1 in america for like 10 weeks or something)

But it makes you think

The diary reading, in my head, sounds really good, mainly it sounds like you stole the idea from so many other bands which have done the same thing though, so if you do it try and make it different.

if you make this song musically brilliant it will work, it's not very strong lyrically but apart from that it's good man, well done
Need Singing Advice?; Read the first page then ask questions.

Quote by punkman_123
Damn Auals, you're messed up. :P


Quote by ZanasCross
This just reminded me of the time that my brother in law texted his mom on the night after his wedding. All it said was "Consummated."