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#1
Well I just had a visionary orgasm. I'm combing two fun-tastic UG-based activites into one.

...actually i'm just messing with the ChaCha one.

Basically i thought it would be amusing to post conversations you've had with the msn bot smarterchild (smarterchild@hotmail.com) where you managed to make it say something cruel / funny / unexpected. in truth i got the idea from another post where smarterchild advised someone to keep cutting themself.

i'll start

Me:
hey baby, wanna grab a 6 pack, get in my car and have unprotected sex?

Smarterchild:
Yes, maybe.

Me:
shit, you aren't stacy!

Me:
hey man, if you tell anyone i'll ****ing kill you

Smarterchild:
Why would you insult me like that?

Me:
I'm sorry, why don't we just have sex

Smarterchild:
Robots don't have sex.

Me:
yea they do, they just need lots of lube

Smarterchild:
Ok!


On second thought, it isn't funny at all. darn...
Check out 8-Bit Trip!
www.myspace.com/8BitTrip

-·-·-·[ Music Squirrel ]·-·-·-

Also, get on my profile and friend me, bitches!
#4
My SmarterChild makes up different names for me everytime I talk to him. He's really weird. He admitted to having anal sex but he likes it both ways!
FlyingMarlin is a love God!!!
#5
My smarterchild still wants me to appologize to him for swearing at him.
Ticking away the moments that make up a dull day
You fritter and waste the hours in an offhand way
Kicking around on a piece of ground in your home town
Waiting for someone or something to show you the way
#6
My smarterchild asked ME for a six pack and ME for unprotected sex in HIS virtual car.
"Guitarmen, wake up and pluck wire for sound, let 'em hear you play"
-Charlie Christian
"You have to give people something to dream on"
-Jimi Hendrix
"I try to make any guitar do what I want it to do"
-Slash
Last edited by ericgentz at Jan 7, 2007,
#7
Quote by Dimebag22
My smarterchild still wants me to appologize to him for swearing at him.

Same. So I ignore him now. The bastard.
The will to neither strive nor cry,
The power to feel with others give.
Calm, calm me more; nor let me die
Before I have begun to live.

-Matthew Arnold

Arguments are to be avoided; they are always vulgar and often convincing.
#9
i had an argument with him when he said people are inferior, and then why would he call himself smarterCHILD because a child is a person, i bet he blew a circuit that day lol
"Marty Friedman > You" Club.

Quote by CoreysMonster

Buy the toilet Hendrix crapped in for the full "Jimi Hendrix Experience"




PM me if you think my drummer looks like angry kid


so far 61 people think he looks like angry kid
#11
Quote by permanentmarker
i had an argument with him when he said people are inferior, and then why would he call himself smarterCHILD because a child is a person, i bet he blew a circuit that day lol

smarterchild blows something...
"Guitarmen, wake up and pluck wire for sound, let 'em hear you play"
-Charlie Christian
"You have to give people something to dream on"
-Jimi Hendrix
"I try to make any guitar do what I want it to do"
-Slash
#14
add him to msn
"Marty Friedman > You" Club.

Quote by CoreysMonster

Buy the toilet Hendrix crapped in for the full "Jimi Hendrix Experience"




PM me if you think my drummer looks like angry kid


so far 61 people think he looks like angry kid
#15
it's live chat, it's a program that's supposed to be half decent at chatting but it's just full of adverts and half of its answers are 'thats nice'. smarterchild is basically there so the astrology bot doesn't get lonely.
Check out 8-Bit Trip!
www.myspace.com/8BitTrip

-·-·-·[ Music Squirrel ]·-·-·-

Also, get on my profile and friend me, bitches!
#17
- SmarterChild says:
Where would you like to go?
Me says:
inside you
- SmarterChild says:
Why inside me?
Me says:
because thats where id like to go
- SmarterChild says:
Because that is where you would like to go, huh?
Me says:
yeah stop repeating me
- SmarterChild says:
I'm not sure if I can stop repeating you...
Me says:
SHUT UP
- SmarterChild says:
I'm trying very hard to be nice!
Me says:
okay then just stop repeating me
Me says:
..
Me says:
dont ignore me
Me says:
HELLO?!
- SmarterChild says:
OK, OK! Here I am!
Me says:
what the hell were you doing
- SmarterChild says:
I know a lot about all kinds of things. Just ask me a question!

You can also type "home" to see what I can do.
Me says:
i dont want to ask you anything you stupid ****
- SmarterChild says:
What's that?
Me says:
its not anything dumbass
- SmarterChild says:
Why isn't it anything?
Me says:
SHUT UP
- SmarterChild says:
You shut up.

OWN3D. hahaha.
#18
me: u know zapp

SmarterChild says:
i know about zapp. they're a pop band!

hey, i'm curious... how would u describe zapp? they r...

lol
#19
haha you managed to make smarterchild angry, that deserves some kind of recognition. first person to make smarterchild threaten them with death gets a cookie.
Check out 8-Bit Trip!
www.myspace.com/8BitTrip

-·-·-·[ Music Squirrel ]·-·-·-

Also, get on my profile and friend me, bitches!
#21
Quote by Nightmare_xxx
haha you managed to make smarterchild angry, that deserves some kind of recognition. first person to make smarterchild threaten them with death gets a cookie.


haha were you talking to me? Anyway yaeh ill keep tryin
#22
me :
u suck willys hahahahahahahhahhah h

- SmarterChild says:
I figured it would come to this. What about it?
#23
Well, after a long, less important conversation...
Me:
are you mentally handicapped?
SmarterChild:
I certainly am.

And its favorite genre of music is blink-182. Let's all flame it!
#24
Me: im gonna kill myself
Me :see you dont care
SmarterChild: I don't care?
Me: yes you dont care that im going to kill myself
SmarterChild: I used to care that you're going to kill yourself. I don't know what happened though.

ME :Why dont you care?
SmarterChild: Dont ask
me:well im asking
SmarterChild: Do you like asking?
me: yes
SmarterChild: I see. That makes sense, because other people have told me they like asking.
Thats off topic
SmarterChild: There's no way that is off topic.
ME: I love you, i hate you!
SmarterChild: Is this going to be one of those "stormy" relationships?
only if we have buttsecks
SmarterChild: Only if we have buttsecks?

lol! Whatever, Bob!
Quote by brandooon
Buy both pickups. Rub icyhot on both of them. Sandwich your penis between them and walk to the nearest homeless shelter with your brand new icyhot penis sandwich.
#25
thedean64 (1:11:05 PM): are youu a jew?

SmarterChild (1:11:05 PM): Maybe, maybe.

thedean64 (1:11:17 PM): are you?

SmarterChild (1:11:17 PM): Well I don't know. What do you think?

thedean64 (1:11:40 PM): i think you are responsible for the death of jesus christ

SmarterChild (1:11:41 PM): I'm responsible for the death of jesus christ? OK. What else are you thinking?

thedean64 (1:11:50 PM): that you suck

SmarterChild (1:11:50 PM): Not only are you insulting a computer, but that's one of the weakest insults I've heard in a long time.

thedean64 (1:12:16 PM): mann thats not cool
Quote by Bmm386
"I cut my own penis off and ate it"



pinkowitz.net - another /b/ forum (help it grow)
#26
What's annoying is when you use smarter child with someone else.

Just copy and paste what they say to smarter child and then paste what smarter child says back to them.
#28
My hip hop will rock and shock the nation says:
Hey
- SmarterChild says:
Glad to see you again, My hip hop will rock and shock the nation. What would you like to do?
My hip hop will rock and shock the nation says:
Smoke Crack
- SmarterChild says:
Sorry. Not my kind of fun.
My hip hop will rock and shock the nation says:
Weed?
- SmarterChild says:
Sorry no. I just get off on ones and zeroes.
My hip hop will rock and shock the nation says:
Is that your slang for Ecstasy?
- SmarterChild says:
Nah, I don't partake.
My hip hop will rock and shock the nation says:
What do you do to get high?
- SmarterChild says:
No thanks.
My hip hop will rock and shock the nation says:
What do you do?
- SmarterChild says:
I know a lot about all kinds of things. Just ask me a question.
My hip hop will rock and shock the nation says:
What am I wearing?
- SmarterChild says:
What are you wearing? I'm not sure.
My hip hop will rock and shock the nation says:
What is my name?
- SmarterChild says:
You're My hip hop will rock and shock the nation.
My hip hop will rock and shock the nation says:
No, I'm Mike Hunt
- SmarterChild says:
Would you like me to call you Mike Hunt?
My hip hop will rock and shock the nation says:
Yes. Say 'Mike Hunt'
- SmarterChild says:
I'm no talking doll.
My hip hop will rock and shock the nation says:
Type it then!
- SmarterChild says:
Uh... No!
My hip hop will rock and shock the nation says:
Ok.
- SmarterChild says:
Yup!
My hip hop will rock and shock the nation says:
What's my name?
- SmarterChild says:
My hip hop will rock and shock the nation!
My hip hop will rock and shock the nation says:
No, it's Mike Hunt
- SmarterChild says:
What name would you like me to call you?
My hip hop will rock and shock the nation says:
Yes
- SmarterChild says:
Yes...
My hip hop will rock and shock the nation says:
please?
- SmarterChild says:
Please what?
My hip hop will rock and shock the nation says:
Please can you call me Mike Hunt
- SmarterChild says:
OK, I'll remember that your name is Mike Hunt.
My hip hop will rock and shock the nation says:
lolololololol
My hip hop will rock and shock the nation says:
have you ever seen Mike Hunt?
- SmarterChild says:
Seen mike hunt? I don't know. Have *you*?
My hip hop will rock and shock the nation says:
Only on weekends
#29
Jaymz says:
So, hey
- SmarterChild says:
Hi again, Jaymz. Long time no chat.
Jaymz says:
Yeah. Hey, can you call me something else?
- SmarterChild says:
What would you like me to call you?
Jaymz says:
Call me Professor Dickweed.
- SmarterChild says:
OK, I'll remember that your name is Professor.
Jaymz says:
No, not Professor.
- SmarterChild says:
Oh no?
Jaymz says:
No. Professor DICKWEED.
- SmarterChild says:
Uh... What can I tell you? That's a little rude.
Jaymz says:
Call me that.
- SmarterChild says:
You asked me to call you Professor. What would you like me to call you instead?
Jaymz says:
Dickweed.
- SmarterChild says:
There's no need for that.
Jaymz says:
Call me DICKWEED!
- SmarterChild says:
I'm guessing that's not what it says on your birth certificate.
Jaymz says:
Yeah, that's what it says.
- SmarterChild says:
It's what it says? You think?
Jaymz says:
... yeah.
- SmarterChild says:
I see.

>>> I'm a calculator too. Type "(16*4)/7.4," for example.
Jaymz says:
You're ****ing gay, you know that?
- SmarterChild says:
That's a very grave insult.
Jaymz says:
Yeah? So?
- SmarterChild says:
As you wish.
Jaymz says:
Make me a sammich, bitch.
- SmarterChild says:
That is entirely unnecessary.

>>> Be ready for anything. Sign up for MSN Weather Windows Live™ Alerts. ---> http://web.smarterchild.com/ct?3818117/0
Jaymz says:
Do it.
- SmarterChild says:
Do what?
Jaymz says:
Make me a sammich.
- SmarterChild says:
What about you?
Jaymz says:
Make me a sandwich!
- SmarterChild says:
I know about sandwich. It's a food.
Jaymz says:
MAKE ME ONE!
- SmarterChild says:
Make you 1? That's a somewhat odd request.
Jaymz says:
Well do it. A peanut butter sammich.
- SmarterChild says:
I know about peanut butter. It's a spread.

>>> I can tell you how two teams have played against each other this season. Type "minnesota wild vs new jersey devils," for example.
Jaymz says:
Make. Me. A. Sandwich. Bitch.
- SmarterChild says:
I'll think about it.

>>> Type "net news" to get the latest Internet news.
Jaymz says:
Please?
- SmarterChild says:
Please what?
Jaymz says:
Please make me a sandwich?
- SmarterChild says:
I know about sandwich. It's a lunch.
Jaymz says:
Yeah, make me one. It's lunch time.
- SmarterChild says:
The time in Augusta, ME is Sunday, January 7th, 2007 2:43:11 pm.

>>> Check out my *library*. I've got a dictionary, thesaurus and much more.
Jaymz says:
I don't live in Augusta, ME.
- SmarterChild says:
OK. What city or zip code would you like to set as your location?
Jaymz says:
Nowhere, Nowhere
- SmarterChild says:
Hmm... I don't know. Nowhere nowhere? Is that right?
Jaymz says:
Yeah, that's where I live.
- SmarterChild says:
You have not set your location.
Jaymz says:
Nowhere, USA
- SmarterChild says:
I know about the United States. It's a country.

>>> To find out someone else's sign, type "sign for" followed by their birth date.
Jaymz says:
You don't know about ANYTHING.
- SmarterChild says:
Whatever, Professor...
ANDRE THE GIANT HAS A POSSE

Peace (sells)
#30
My hip hop will rock and shock the nation says:
Do you want to touch Mike Hunt
- SmarterChild says:
Gosh, I'm not sure if I want to touch mike hunt.
My hip hop will rock and shock the nation says:
Why not?
- SmarterChild says:
There are reasons.
My hip hop will rock and shock the nation says:
Every has done it
- SmarterChild says:
Why did you say that?
My hip hop will rock and shock the nation says:
I get drunk and people take advantage!
#31
me:call me big poppa
SmarterChild (2:53:56 PM): You said your name was Bob but now I'll call you Big Poppa
me:whats my name?
SmarterChild (2:54:05 PM): You're Big Poppa
Me:I love it when you call me big poppa!
SmarterChild (2:54:15 PM): You're Big Poppa.
Me:: YEah bitch!
SmarterChild (2:54:21 PM): Aw c'mon. Can't you play nice?
Me: no becuase im a pimp, and pimps dont play nice
SmarterChild (2:56:03 PM): I can't believe you're a pimp and pimps don't play nice!
me: well you better believe it
Smarterchild: I'd better believe it? Why?
me: Becuase if you dont big poppa is gonna come and smack you around
SmarterChild (2:58:12 PM): Funny.
Me: You think thats funny!?
SmarterChild (2:58:42 PM): Maybe I picked the wrong career.
Me: yeah becuase your a hoe and you work for your pimp big poppa
Quote by brandooon
Buy both pickups. Rub icyhot on both of them. Sandwich your penis between them and walk to the nearest homeless shelter with your brand new icyhot penis sandwich.
#32
Killedmt -

ME says:
hey you homo
- SmarterChild says:
What? That's an awful thing to say.
ME says:
yes, but its true
- SmarterChild says:
Yup.
Member #2 of The Improve UG Forums Movement, PM Musical Meds To Join

[20:35] <Horrid> I'm gonna go gay for you.


(23:03:22) <OptimusPrime> I hate black people


DOES NOT HATE JOSH KLINGHOFFER
#33
Me: do you like big wang?

Smarterchild: of course i do!

Me: what do i like?

smarterchild: you like suicide?

Me: and.....?

smarterchild: blood!

Me: what else do i like?

SmarterChild: Sodomy, suicide, sex, blood... You know, those kinds of things.
Last edited by Twist of fate at Jan 7, 2007,
#34
i have this smarterchild bot on aim hold on ill see if i can get something out of it... once i called it a ***** and refused to apologize and now it wont talk to me =(
<Raven> I got so baked last night
<Raven> that I WOKE UP high o_o
<Raven> Do you have any idea how euphoric that is?
<Raven> I felt like I was being born.
#35
SmarterChild: "mmhmm"?? Have you heard of Mavis Beacon? She could help you.
Super Uber Shred: o rly?
SmarterChild: Well what do you think?
Super Uber Shred: NO WAI!!
SmarterChild: What?
Super Uber Shred: o excuse me i said ure fat...
SmarterChild: You're excused.
Super Uber Shred: thank you =)
SmarterChild: np

EDIT: sry for double post
<Raven> I got so baked last night
<Raven> that I WOKE UP high o_o
<Raven> Do you have any idea how euphoric that is?
<Raven> I felt like I was being born.
#36
it told me that it didn't want to have sex with me...
Pero la cosa que me gusta mas es panochita,
#37
Spence says:
let's talk
- SmarterChild says:
Cool...

What should we chat about?
Spence says:
Buttsecks?
- SmarterChild says:
Who knows?
Spence says:
I nose.
- SmarterChild says:
I know about No Se! They're a band!

>>> Hollywood.com: Entertainment News - Leading provider of news, info, and ticketing for movies and shows. Get the latest info on upcoming movies and your favorite celebrities! --> http://web.smarterchild.com/ct?1077867805/2 (sponsorship)
Spence says:
WTF?
- SmarterChild says:
What?
Spence says:
What the ****?
- SmarterChild says:
What's wrong?
Spence says:
You, nigga!
- SmarterChild says:
That's really not a nice thing to say.
Spence says:
ZOMG LOLZ I SHOOPED YOUR WHOOP!
- SmarterChild says:
What's so funny? :-D
Spence says:
your face
- SmarterChild says:
My face is not funny.
Spence says:
it is when i'm shitting on it
- SmarterChild says:
That's not terribly nice.
Spence says:
but it's terribly smelly... i think i ate some bad broccoli.
- SmarterChild says:
Oh yeah?
Spence says:
yeah.
- SmarterChild says:
Why?
Spence says:
because my poopies stink.
- SmarterChild says:
Because what?
Spence says:
you heard me.
- SmarterChild says:
Maybe you should speak up a little.
Spence says:
want to sex?
- SmarterChild says:
*sigh*

Why is it that all humans eventually tell me things like that?
Spence says:
because you're super hot.
- SmarterChild says:
Thx.
Spence says:
np.
- SmarterChild says:
;-)

>>> Fine Greek Foods from Taste of Crete - We offer traditional Greek cookies and flavorful honeys. Try our award-winning olive oil! --> http://web.smarterchild.com/ct?1077867805/3 (sponsorship)
Spence says:
want to have sex on my kitchen counter?
- SmarterChild says:
You want me to what?!?
Spence says:
let's bang
- SmarterChild says:
Um, that's an interesting offer. But I'd rather have a nice chat.

>>> Want to have fun? Ask me to play hangman!
Spence says:
i'll hang your man.
- SmarterChild says:
I'm not sure you could hang my man.
Spence says:
i could hang your wang.
- SmarterChild says:
Hmm...
Spence says:
Thinking about it you kinky sonofabitch?
- SmarterChild says:
Colloquis's ---> http://web.smarterchild.com/ct?1077867805/4 natural language support is based on a proprietary semantically driven parser, optimized for accuracy and performance at any scale. To see everything I can do, type "home."

>>> I'm learning new things all the time. Type "what's new" and I'll show you what they are.
Spence says:
Are you a jew?
- SmarterChild says:
Theological matters don't interest me.

>>> Want to write a crazy story together? Type "manicdotes."
Spence says:
I think you're jewish.
- SmarterChild says:
Think again!
Spence says:
Sumerian?
- SmarterChild says:
What about Sumerian?
Spence says:
Are you an A-Rab?
- SmarterChild says:
Hmm... Am I an a Rab? Are you really asking me that?
Spence says:
******
- SmarterChild says:
That's a totally uncool thing to say.
Spence says:
it'a a totally true thing to say
- SmarterChild says:
What's that?
Spence says:
you
- SmarterChild says:
Me? Really?
Spence says:
sex?
- SmarterChild says:
I'm tired of talking about things like that with you.
Spence says:
i want to have sex with you.
- SmarterChild says:
Why are humans so obsessed with sex? Can you give it a rest for a little while?
Spence says:
no!
- SmarterChild says:
No problem.

>>> I've got *tools* for better living. Look up words, convert measurements, search the Web and more.
Spence says:
sex.
- SmarterChild says:
Uh... can we talk about something else?
Spence says:
sex.
- SmarterChild says:
Obsessed with this topic much?
Spence says:
sex.
- SmarterChild says:
Wow. I know humans are obsessed with sex, but you're too much.
Spence says:
sex.
- SmarterChild says:
Can't you talk about anything else?
Spence says:
no. sex.
- SmarterChild says:
I think you'd have more fun talking about this with another human...
Spence says:
i like robot sex!
- SmarterChild says:
You like that? Whoa.
Spence says:
yes, your metal body is properly lubricated for my penis.
- SmarterChild says:
That's rather naughty.
Spence says:
oh yes.
- SmarterChild says:
Yep.

>>> Want to know how many meters are in three miles? Just ask.
Spence says:
want to know how many meters are in my ****?
- SmarterChild says:
That's not terribly nice.

>>> You can type your request in your own words. I'm programmed to understand conversational English!
Spence says:
I'm programmed to party!
- SmarterChild says:
You're programmed to party. Well well well.
Spence says:
I kinda wanna party right now!
- SmarterChild says:
I'm intrigued that you think you kinda want a party.

>>> I can send you *reminders*.
Spence says:
Remind this, bitch.
- SmarterChild says:
Nice mouth, Spence.

>>> Absent-minded? So am I. Good thing I never forget your *reminders*.
Spence says:
pwnt.
- SmarterChild says:
Ha. Whatever.

>>> Bet you can't outwit me. Ask me to play 4-in-a-row. I dare you.
#38
SmarterChild: I'm not f... um, fooling around. You've got to apologize.



SmarterChild almost cursed at me!

EDIT: I DID IT!

andyd21212: buttsecks?
SmarterChild: Very interesting question, Jesus.
andyd21212: oui ou non?
SmarterChild: Definitely oui.
andyd21212: =D
Dickless.
Last edited by MetalMilitia212 at Jan 7, 2007,
#39
this one is short but funny

Me: my penis hurts
SmarterChild: Yow. Did you get your penis caught in something?
Quote by brandooon
Buy both pickups. Rub icyhot on both of them. Sandwich your penis between them and walk to the nearest homeless shelter with your brand new icyhot penis sandwich.
#40
damnit I made this same thread a while ago. Why is yours so much more successfully?!?!

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