#1
WILL RETURN CRIT!!!!!

[Verse 1]
i know
nobody knows the truth but you
and you're not telling anyway
and i swear
i only had the one drink
but im staggering like anything
you've ever encountered

[chorus]
these opinions once before
so who's counting anymore
im rhyming like a pop star
sat here singing to an empty bar
who cares? when we've all got to get on
with this

[verse 2]
so cynical
never used to be so nasty...
i blame my rotting soul
and you'd agree because thats all you ever do,
when im praying for reaction
it's all that ive encountered...

[chorus]
these opinions once before
so who's counting anymore
im rhyming like a pop star
sat here singing to an empty bar
who cares? when we've all got to get on
with this

[verse 3]
so many times
ive poisoned any sense i might have, i like to forget
how i escape
so that its new each time i get there
resembling something i dont remember i encountered

[last chorus]

these opinions once before
so who's counting anymore
im rhyming like a pop star
sat here singing to an empty bar
who cares? when we've all got to get on
with this
who cares? when we've all got to get on
with this
“I smoke. If this bothers anyone, I suggest you look around at the world in which we live and shut your f*ckin' mouth.” RIP
Http://www.Smash-it-up.tk
Last edited by damn-right! at Jan 8, 2007,
#2
really rough (and i mean recorded at 4 in the morning, after half a bottle of rum using audiograbber because cubase died and i cant figure out why, rough) demo of the song here

http://www.myspace.com/the_definitive_edition

Its called "get on with this" on there because it wouldnt let me have the long title, will return any comments-just leave me a link. cheers
“I smoke. If this bothers anyone, I suggest you look around at the world in which we live and shut your f*ckin' mouth.” RIP
Http://www.Smash-it-up.tk
#3
This reminds me alot of Tom Waits lyrics. I think it's good, but alot of it felt like you took random parts of the song and copy->pasted to other random parts. I dunno, just kinda a recycled song feeling. The rhyming was good.
Wade in the water, child.
#4
Well let me start... I liked the power the you brought in your lyrics, it kinda grabed you and the words did the rest, just try not to go to far in your rhyming, maybe try ABBA instead of basic ABAB rhyming, but it's still really good but i though the pop star and bar thing didn't go together to well but that's just me.

3 stars
#5
Quote by Bleed Away
Well let me start... I liked the power the you brought in your lyrics, it kinda grabed you and the words did the rest, just try not to go to far in your rhyming, maybe try ABBA instead of basic ABAB rhyming, but it's still really good but i though the pop star and bar thing didn't go together to well but that's just me.

3 stars



haha the chorus is sort of a joke, the rhymes need to be so...obvious, to back up the content. "rhyming like a pop star" the idea being that i'm a self-indulgent drunk and my partner doesnt have the time to care and wouldnt even if he could because he's too self involved, its basically a little story about two horrible people who somehow got stuck together and its driven me to rhyming hahaha and as far as i can see its only the chorus that rhymes.
“I smoke. If this bothers anyone, I suggest you look around at the world in which we live and shut your f*ckin' mouth.” RIP
Http://www.Smash-it-up.tk