#1
Long time no see songwriting and lyrics forum

This is a new song I'm working on with the keyboardist from my band. It's going to be part of a concept album we're working on along with other songs I'm currently writing. I'm going to add another verse, so pretend its there

Go a little easy on me, I haven't written in a while

Darkest side of dreams


You never know what can Happen,
When day turns into night
Color will not cast its glow,
In a world painted black and white

Lurid shadows of past and future
Are becoming oversold,
Distorted glimpses of hope and fear
Can not be consoled

I’ll meet you in my thoughts
And we’ll sit and watch the show
Stay with me while I loose my mind
And we can search for yours
This darkest side of dreams,
Will haunt me ‘til the end
We all live in this insane world,
And I’m adding to the madness
#2
I thought the first verse was very good. however i did not like these last two lines:

We all live in this insane world,
And I’m adding to the madness

they didn't seem to flow with the rest of it. maybe switch that up or reword it and i think it would work better. This was a pretty good write. it is a little short so i would agree with another verse. good job on this.

crit mine?
https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=498410