#1
The floor shakes more than ever
The ceiling seem to fall
They all try to hurt me
I’ve seen this all before

About time the world
Comes crashing down
It brings a smile into my life
I’m feeling so alive

Oh the irony to feel this
When I’m about to die

But I’m alive


... Something I wrote now, dunno if it's any good and it's not finished at all but just give me some crit, and I'll use it wisely
#2
Its definatly a good start. Sounds pretty catchy so far. But try and get a complete work before you post eh! I would change fall to fail in the first verse too. But good start!
#3
Quote by D_evo
Its definatly a good start. Sounds pretty catchy so far. But try and get a complete work before you post eh! I would change fall to fail in the first verse too. But good start!


Yeah yeah, well the ceiling, isn't that the inner roof?:P
It's falling down, or at least that's what I was thinking of

I'll try to make it complete today or tomorrow=D Thanks.
#4
Its definatly a good start. Sounds pretty catchy so far. But try and get a complete work before you post eh! I would change fall to fail in the first verse too. But good start!


What?? The ceiling seems to fail...?? leave it to fall, if you sing it right it will rhyme to some extent with before, plus with fail it makes abosolutely no sense
Quote by lobster624
"are you an angel because i have an erection."
#5
Its definatly a good start. Sounds pretty catchy so far. But try and get a complete work before you post eh! I would change fall to fail in the first verse too. But good start!


What?? The ceiling seems to fail...?? leave it to fall, if you sing it right it will rhyme to some extent with before, plus with fail it makes abosolutely no sense


As I thought