#1
The Lie
---------
From the day our love started
We never thought we would leave each other.
True love we called it
But we didn't know shit.

As time carried on
I got more naive
Believing every word i ever heard from you
I was blind, I couldnt see
The lies that you spread to me

To runaway was the only choice
But I was brought back by the sweet lustful sound of your voice!-IT IS SO SWEET

(Chorus x2)
I walked out the door
But I always came back for more
The love I thought you gave
Was enough to save
The lie that made me want to die.-Made me want to die!!!!

With every passing day
I begin to realize your way
I start to find out about the lie
This is when I want to die.

To runaway was the only choice
Once again I was brought back by the sweet lustful sound of your voice!


(chorus2 x2)
Once again I started to run to the door
But again I came back for more
Still believing the love you gave
Was enough to save
The lie that made me want to die.-Made me want to die!!!!

For the final time you lied to me
But this time you're going to be the one to want to die

And I scream,
(Chorus x4)
Don't lie to me!
unless you wanna die
Don't lie to me!
unless you wanna die
Don't lie to me!
unless you wanna die


Okay so yeah, this is my third one i have posted, i hope it gets better responses then the 2nd one...I my self like it better then As i die for you.

It is still no blood not tears, but the stuff i am working on now has great potential...
#2
From the day our love started
We never thought we would leave each other.
True love we called it
But we didn't know shit.

As time carried on
I got more naive
Believing every word i ever heard from you
I was blind, I couldnt see
The lies that you spread to me


4th line, maybe change it to, 'I guess we didn't know shit'. Good opening verse though. 2nd line, 2nd verse, it needs to be 'I became more naive'. Sounds better. 3rd line, exclude from you. 4th line is a little redundant maybe change it to something else.

With every passing day
I begin to realize your way
I start to find out about the lie
This is when I want to die.

This seems very forced, and repetitive from before, maybe you should think about changing it up. Just a suggestion.

For the final time you lied to me
But this time you're going to be the one to want to die

The last sentence is to wordy, maybe you can try and cut it down.

Pretty good overall, if you like that kind of stuff, I don't but its alright. Needs some revisions before it's finalized has definate potential though. If you want to crit my new one I'd appreciate it. Nice job though.
#3
I'm not too fond about complaing about love and stuff,but for that type of genre it was some tight content
#4
I thought the first verse was awesome, and really kicks the song off...but the "I walked out the door But I always came back for more" sounds a tad cliche.