#1
does anyone wanna help me write a song

this is what i have so far i like the first part but am at ablock to anything after the first verse

Verse 1:
I stare out the window
into the dark and lonely night
i see the reflection
of my bed in the light
an impression on the pillow
from where your head lied
i imagine the sheets are warm
like your by my side
......

I go back to
everyword you said
they hurt so bad
that they are stuck in my head
all of them were true
you never said one lie
in all the time you were
by my side
.......

but a few questions
are in the back of my head
one of them maybe being
a lie that you said
did you really love me
did you honestly mean it
or were they words you said
when i just didnt get it
........

Chorus:
Tell me what did I do
To deserve a life without you
Tell me how to go on
with my life

Verse 2:

???????????????????????
#3
alright if you want the chords maybe to help its

G
I stare out the window
F#/G
into the dark and lonely night
Em7
i see the reflection
F#/G
of my bed in the light
#4
I'm writing this song to you baby
cause I luh-uh-uuuve youuu
come back to me tonight
so I can see your soul tonight
look into my eyes
see these tear-stains on my face
that's from you baby
cause I luh-uh-uuuve youuu
I wish I was you
to see inside your head
to make you want me
I want you to want me

what do you think? not bad for a first song on the spot I'd say
#5
i do like but one thing no offense

the rhyme structure is kinda messed up and not really your fault but im not a guy who uses the word bay

hahahaha

but really amazing man
#6
how about

Im writing this sad song for you
come back to me tonight
i wanna stare into the window
and see you in the light
look in to my eyes
and see the tear stains
its cause of the love i had
for you now turned into pain
#7
I just don't understand it
How could it pass by so fast
It seems as though I'll never know
Why we just couldn't last

The shadows on my wall
Play with these thoughts of mine
Confusing me while unasleep
To mull over with time....

hell i don't know
for some ****ed up reason i've been thinking and writing in irish verse today
so everything i write is sung to an irish folk tune....so the above probably wont help...

or if you want to be more reflective on past times

I saw you yesterday but you didn’t recognize my face
Or if you did you turned away
When I think back girl, I can’t recall those days
When we were close and never ran out of things to say

So Walk away, ignore my cries
I know that you won’t turn back to our better lives
Pay no attention to what I have to say
This could be so easy if you never walked away

this is just some crap from my earlier days (freshman year, amazing girl, long story) i keep the good stuff to myslef, or at least what i view as the good stuff
Quote by B.I.N.
Chord of David, eh?
G Sus, perhaps?
#8
do you have the chords for the entire song
cuz with chords and a basic rhyme scheme its easier

and whats the general mood of the song?
asking for her forgiveness?
getting her to talk?
looking back and questioning things that happened?
Quote by B.I.N.
Chord of David, eh?
G Sus, perhaps?
#10
thanks, it was a bit of a joke but thanks

honestly the lyrics seem a little emo-ey, you should get angry
#11
yeah they are a bit emo-y but sometimes its hard to write a song about loving and losing or stuff like that and not have it sound a bit like that because any song about losing a loved one and expressing sadness is labeled as emo these days
unless you slap this on an electric and bust out some sweet sweeps!
\m/>_<\m/
Quote by B.I.N.
Chord of David, eh?
G Sus, perhaps?
#12
Quote by mgilesfan27
i like this BytheWay27



thank you


tis there a story behind ur song?
Quote by B.I.N.
Chord of David, eh?
G Sus, perhaps?
#13
Quote by ByTheWay27
do you have the chords for the entire song
cuz with chords and a basic rhyme scheme its easier

and whats the general mood of the song?
asking for her forgiveness?
getting her to talk?
looking back and questioning things that happened?

It stays the same G F#/G Em7 F#/G

and the chorus is C9 G C9 G C9 G C9 G D

and actually a little of all of the above
#14
right now i gots to do homework but i'll be on later cuz im always on late and i'll try to work on it if you want variously throughout the week
its pretty good though, a bit general but a good start
Quote by B.I.N.
Chord of David, eh?
G Sus, perhaps?
#15
no story really just got bored one night and i was sitting on my bed looking out the window and i seen my bed in the reflection and i was like hmmmmm
#18
Crit for Crit?


When the Factories Seem Perfectly Aligned

Well I don’t got the money, I can’t get a cab
And I know everybody would call this bad luck but
I’m winding down from a trip to the top
And seems kinda pointless to keep this up if I can’t
Get away and I can’t ****in wait
To get out of the house just to change the pace
We’ve been waiting for weeks but I doubt there’s a road
Up ahead that’ll get me out of this hole

And it’s never gonna be the same
Honey I could never stay this way
We never thought it had to change
Funny how you’ll take back what you say
It’s never gonna be the same
There’s no place to take us tired but sane
It’s never gonna be the same
Don’t you know, we can’t escape?

And the streets stay the same while the weather is felt
But the snow on the sidewalk is starting to melt
In the heat of the morning the moment of dawn
As I stroll down this alleyway into the pub
And nobody’s laughing cause nobody’s there
Just a man with a rag who is losing his hair
And I can’t concentrate on the thoughts in my mind
And this drink isn’t helping to keep me kind

And it’s never gonna be the same
Honey I could never stay this way
We never thought it had to change
Funny how you’ll take back what you say
It’s never gonna be the same
There’s no place to take us tired but sane
It’s never gonna be the same
Don’t you know that it’s too late?

And it’s never gonna be the same
Honey I could never stay this way
We never thought it had to change
Funny how you’ll take back what you say
It’s never gonna be the same
There’s no place to take us tired but sane
It’s never gonna be the same
Don’t you know, don’t you know x3
That it’s too late
© 2006
Copyrighted Bitches!
Quote by B.I.N.
Chord of David, eh?
G Sus, perhaps?
#19
FINAL

Verse 1:
I stare out the window
into the dark and lonely night
i see the reflection
of my bed in the light
an impression on the pillow
from where your head lied
i imagine the sheets are warm
like your by my side
......

but a few questions
are in the back of my head
one of them maybe being
a lie that you said
did you really love me
did you honestly mean it
or were they words you said
when i just didnt get it
........

Chorus:
Tell me what did I do
To deserve a life without you
Tell me how to go on
with my life

Verse 2:
I go back to
everyword you said
they hurt so bad
that they are stuck in my head
all of them were true
you never said one lie
in all the time you were
by my side
.............

Im writing this sad song for you
come back to me tonight
i wanna stare into the window
and see you in the light
look in to my eyes
and see the tear stains
its cause of the love i had
for you now turned into pain

Chorus:
Tell me what did I do
To deserve a life without you
Tell me how to go on
with my life

Bridge:
saw you yesterday but you didn’t recognize my face
Or if you did you turned away
When I think back girl, I can’t recall those days
When we were close and never ran out of things to say

........

So Walk away, ignore my cries
I know that you won’t turn back to our better lives
Pay no attention to what I have to say
This could be so easy if you never walked away

Chorus:
Tell me what did I do
To deserve a life without you
Tell me how to go on
with my life

Chorus:
Tell What to do
To deserve a life with you
pleae tell me how to
get you in my life

Outro:
I stare out the Window
Into the dark and lonely night
i see the reflection of you
beside me in the light
#21
i like the final version but if you don't want to shorten it you'll have to make the instrumentals and shit really interesting because ppl dont normally pay attention to songs more thatn 2-4 minutes thanks to bands like FOB,P(i refuse to type the exclamation point)ATD, and MCR
Quote by B.I.N.
Chord of David, eh?
G Sus, perhaps?
#23
Whoa....1 threadstarted DO NOT double post, use the edit function I dont see why you should keep getting a bump. 2. Read the FAQ you just ignored the comment that was made. I've half a mind to give you a warning. In fact bingo! AND 3. Once you've read the FAQ you'll know the title should be the song title only NO BEGGING!

And BY the Way you do not post your song in anothers thread, link them to yours.
Filth, pure filth... That's what you are.