#1
Have a look, tell me what you think, leave me a link and I'll crit you straight back.


Terrified Children

Another rainy morning, passes unnoticed by my pillow closed eyes
The body clock alarm of afternoon brings me round
Brings you round again, I sign my confidence away
And so we step another daydream step towards the edge

Closer than many, further apart than anyone else
All we had in common was our lives upon a shelf

What can you say when someone so close tells you something from so far away
How to react to the cry for help when all you have to say
Is lets go play some pool, forget our problems for another rainy day
Pretend our lives and loves are not so bleak
So unromantic in defeat

Another stormy evening passed unnoticed by your alcoholic eyes
The body clock alarm of midnight brings you round
Brings me round again, you smoke your confidence away
And so we step another daydream step towards the end

Closer than many, further apart than anyone else
All we had in common was our lives upon a shelf

What can you say when you see it for real, the alarm bells should be clear
How to react to the realisation you're losing something dear
So lets go play some pool, ignore our problems and our fears
Pretend our lives and loves are not so bleak
So unromantic in defeat

Another stormy friendship, passed unnoticed by my naïve eyes
The body clock alarm of living brings me round
Brings you round again, to drain my confidence away
I never had the strength to walk you from the edge

Closer than many, further apart than anyone else
We had so much in common, then I left you on the shelf
#2
This is a good piece of work Tez. I love the way you change the verses ever so slightly eg "Brings you round again, I sign my confidence away.................Brings me round again, you smoke your confidence away" - Theses are great, I can see how they tie in with the title of 'Terrified Children'.

The slight changes in the verses gave me a sense of deva vu when I was reading the song but there was just enough change in there to convince me it was a fresh line, if ya know what I mean. Just off the top of my head, I wouldn't change anything at the moment- I think youve found a nice balance between song depth and being under-descriptive.

Please, id love to see some more of your songs - email me at sk135@hotmail.com with a fresh batch if you wouldn't mind. Keep up the good work
#1 member of the Oasis fan club. PM me to join
#3
Nice song, i agree with Oasis247....
BECOME A FAN!

DISCO IS DEAD!

Quote by Minkaro
(Repeat until audience is driven mad)


Quote by Zeppo
Wait a minute. Your telling me your gf is related to 'The' Robert Plant?!
#5
like everyone else has said. Great, and keep them coming please... links in the sig if you would be so kind...
I massacre the guitar but make beautiful music in the process. Grunge lives through me!
#7
Wow cheers guys Yeah I reckon this is one of my better ones hehe, some other lyrics are up on my myspace but I don't like to pimp it on here so give us a pm if you want a scan of them (and a listen, not that I'd recommend it haha) - some are a lot more basic than this, though the recent ones I've done have had a bit more "something" about them if that makes sense...?

Will crit on links and stuff now...