#1
Here is a song my singer and i cowrote. Any opinions and/or suggestions are welcome.

Come to Life

When I first came back to see you
You couldn’t even recognize my face
The years have changed your perception
The tunnel vision blocks out the world around you

Come.
To.
Life.

Push your false opinions of me
It doesn’t even matter
The silent words we share
Deafening sounds of desperation

I’ve changed so much
Grown so fast
But when it’s all said and done
It’s really only the beginning
Of the journey
That has come to life

(Waiting for you)
To accept what I can give to you
(Waiting for you)
To see why I’m still here
(Waiting for you)
I’m still right here

New experiences occur everyday
You can’t hide away from all these changes
Embrace it for what it is
Today your dreams come to life

Chorus
Room For Error

Shows
6.30.05: 3 Doors Down, Staind, Breaking Benjamin
9.22.05: Disturbed, Ill Nino, 10 Years
4.1.06: Sevendust, Nonpoint
10.2.06: Red Hot Chili Peppers, The Mars Volta
11.21.06: Disturbed, Stone Sour, Flyleaf, Nonpoint
Last edited by Rymaninthebox at Jan 13, 2007,
#2
what sort of song is it?
www.myspace.com/symmetry4321


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I think stone is either 7 or 14 lbs

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sounds like....u need a...

BAND MEETING!!!
#3
hard rock.
Room For Error

Shows
6.30.05: 3 Doors Down, Staind, Breaking Benjamin
9.22.05: Disturbed, Ill Nino, 10 Years
4.1.06: Sevendust, Nonpoint
10.2.06: Red Hot Chili Peppers, The Mars Volta
11.21.06: Disturbed, Stone Sour, Flyleaf, Nonpoint
#4
My first crit, so it's probably going to suck. But, anyway.

Here is a song my singer and i cowrote. Any opinions and/or suggestions are welcome.

Come to Life

When I first came back to see you
You couldn’t even recognize my face (leave out the 'even' if it's literal)
The years have changed your perception
The tunnel vision blocks out the world around you (The tunnel vision blocks out what there is to embrace)

Come.
To.
Life.

Push your false opinions of me
It doesn’t even matter (They lack a reasonable explanation)
The silent words we share (The silent words which we share [are nothing but])
Deafening sounds of desperation

I’ve changed so much
Grown so fast
But when it’s all said and done (all 'been' said and done)
It’s really only the beginning {
Of the journey { (Personally, I don't like the flow in these lines)
That has come to life {

(Waiting for you)
To accept what I can give to you
(Waiting for you)
To see why I’m still here
(Waiting for you)
I’m still right here

New experiences occur everyday
You can’t hide away from all these changes
Embrace it for what it is
Today your reality/dreams come to life

Chorus
Well, most of that was opinion and my personal preferences. So, yeah.
#5
yeah on paper the chorus doesnt flow too well. but the way our singer does it works really well.

thanks for the suggestions
Room For Error

Shows
6.30.05: 3 Doors Down, Staind, Breaking Benjamin
9.22.05: Disturbed, Ill Nino, 10 Years
4.1.06: Sevendust, Nonpoint
10.2.06: Red Hot Chili Peppers, The Mars Volta
11.21.06: Disturbed, Stone Sour, Flyleaf, Nonpoint