#1
Sleeping in a daze
Light remains the same
Open up my eyes
Blurred to paralyze

Standing over me
I begin to see
A mountain top
Of mystery

Get off, Get off me
get off, get off me

My shirts off
The tables turned
Where am I now
I'm so scared

Get off, Get off me
get off, get off me
get off, get off me

Everyone's screaming, and its all at me
Pointing their fingers at the *****
Nothing of truth only of lie
He's a rapist and I thought I'd die
#2
Sleeping in a daze
Light remains the same
Open up my eyes
Blurred to paralyze

I quite like the lyrics here. Rhyming lyrics as 1, 1, 2, 2 can sometimes sound crap, but can sometimes work, it all depends. To make it a bit different, I would put:

Sleeping in a daze
Open up my eyes
Light remains the same
Blurred to paralyze

That is just my opinion though.



Standing over me
I begin to see
A mountain top
Of mystery

I can kinda imagine how this would be sung. What genre is thing song? Is it fast or slow. This could probably do with some work, but it is pretty good. The only thing I can think of to make it better is using more describing words such as 'towering' or something like that, just to give the listener more of a visual picture of what is happening.


Get off, Get off me
get off, get off me

Yeah, this is good. Not a whole lot to really say about it.

My shirts off
The tables turned
Where am I now
I'm so scared

This is probably my favourite verse out of them all, it has the most feeling and gives more of a visual picture. I don't really have anything bad to say about it.


Get off, Get off me
get off, get off me
get off, get off me

Maybe another aggressive 'GET OFF!' at the end wouldn't hurt, but oh well.

Everyone's screaming, and its all at me
Pointing their fingers at the *****
Nothing of truth only of lie
He's a rapist and I thought I'd die

I like this verse too. The 3rd line is good. The last line doesn't make a whole lot of sense, but as long as it makes sense to you it doesn't really matter. Many great songs don't make perfect sense, so don't worry.

All in all I give this about 7/10. It is not the greatest song ever, but better than some songs that are posted here. Keep writing, and I look forward to reading more of your stuff in the future.

If you want to crit my stuff it's in my sig