#1
feeling sleazy
best attempts to
be pleasing
so when I leave they'll say, hopefully
"he was charming"
working my magic
for rights of passage
because prospect of
'hot girls willing to do anything
because they get so drunk so quickly'
at future parties
is both enticing and disgusting
against policy
but anyone else
or else everybody
so why not me me me?

getting away with
AABB poetry
need another word that
ends in I-N-G
strumming strumming GEC, DC
but why
how could I?
it's simple really:
easily.

it's still less challenging
to keep busy
than to sit and think

somebody stop me.
love dead like a crushed fly

for those of you who said you'd be interested in hearing my lyrics put to music- I started work on recording an album, if you get in touch with me pm or otherwise I'd be more than happy to fill you in
Last edited by less than that at Jan 16, 2007,
#2
getting away with
AABB poetry
need another word that
ends in I-N-G
strumming strumming CEG
how could I?
it's simple really:
easily.


Please tell me this isn't a stanza....if it is, it is shocking!!!
#5
No, Rob, it's obviously a postmodernist take on Natasha Bedingfield, not a sincere homage or anything.

Mikey you're in a postmodern phase right now I guess. I approve.
#6
Yeah I loved this, and it feels like theres a reason behind the whiny rhyming

You got any of your stuff recorded somewhere? Or all your stuff online in one place? 'Cos I love your stuff lately
#8
Rob, I'm trying to tell you that Mike (less than that) has a well-earned reputation as a writer on these boards. Consider the possibility that there is a reason behind a line that you view as "bad" that you might not understand, not having read Mike's lyrics or poetry before.
#9
No, I do understand where you are coming from, but looking at this in the context of today's music, in all sorts of genre whether its pop, punk, rock, metal, classic or whatever, this song will most probably not be classed as even remotely good because the lyrics do seem very childish or as if he has run out of idea!!
#10
I'll quote Truly Ninja, "Consider the possibility that there is a reason behind a line that you view as "bad" that you might not understand, not having read Mike's lyrics or poetry before."

#11
I have come to read some of his poetry e.t.c But to be honest, these aren't the most thoughtful lyrics, underlying meaning or not. I know with his potential he could have wrote something illustrating the message a lot better. However, maybe people just expect greatness from you a little bit on the high side, so something that i relatively good(my opinion of your lyrics)may seme poor for you.
#13
I've ceased to care. But to me the lines in question relate to alot, if not more than most "contemporary" Music/Lyrics than anything related to war or Iraq can. (They have their place, granted. But as far as modern analysis' go I think the lines are class.) I like this piece. I like most, most of your pieces. And this one is the first in a while. don't ask me why, I just do.

It's relevant to the piece, and proves a point, which is what songwriting is about.
Filth, pure filth... That's what you are.
Last edited by The Hurt Within at Jan 14, 2007,
#14
what the hell's postmodernism?
love dead like a crushed fly

for those of you who said you'd be interested in hearing my lyrics put to music- I started work on recording an album, if you get in touch with me pm or otherwise I'd be more than happy to fill you in
#15
It's postmodern in the sense that the piece, as an entity, is self-referential and entirely aware of its own existence.
#17
aha! then yes
love dead like a crushed fly

for those of you who said you'd be interested in hearing my lyrics put to music- I started work on recording an album, if you get in touch with me pm or otherwise I'd be more than happy to fill you in
#18
Whatever it is, It's great.

Again-

You got any of your stuff recorded somewhere? Or all your stuff online in one place? 'Cos I love your stuff lately
#19
For what it's worth, I loved this.

If it means something to someone, then I think you've succeeded.
マリ「しあわっせはーあるいってこないだーからあるいってゆっくんだねーん 
いっちにっちいっぽみーかでさんぽ
 さーんぽすすんでにっほさっがるー 
じーんせいはっわんつー!ぱんち・・・


"Success is as dangerous as failure. Hope is as hollow as fear." - from Tao Te Ching

#20
http://threestarsalute.dmusic.com/ - it's only three recordings and they're from a year or two ago when I played a radio show but it's something

the link in my signature - http://threestarsalute.deviantart.com has a good portion of my pieces though I don't think I'd say most even, I've got a word document running so I can keep track of all of them and it's over 100 pages long.

http://www.lemonfingers.com/v1/?f=threestarsalute that site has a couple pieces I didn't post on DA but I probably put here.

you can see my thirty or so latest pieces just by doing a search for all threads started by less than that I'm pretty sure only one of them isn't in this forum


and thank you for your responses. I'm not going to explain anything about meaning because I think that's a shitty way to go about poetry but I do hope you'll keep in mind I'm not careless. I do put thought into even the worst lines/poems.
love dead like a crushed fly

for those of you who said you'd be interested in hearing my lyrics put to music- I started work on recording an album, if you get in touch with me pm or otherwise I'd be more than happy to fill you in
#21
Quote by *Truly Ninja*
Rob, I'm trying to tell you that Mike (less than that) has a well-earned reputation as a writer on these boards. Consider the possibility that there is a reason behind a line that you view as "bad" that you might not understand, not having read Mike's lyrics or poetry before.



Well said.

I liked this Mike. I can picture the kind of music perfectly, I think. And I "approve" haha.
#22
you better be able to picture it, I tell you the chords right in the lyrics!
love dead like a crushed fly

for those of you who said you'd be interested in hearing my lyrics put to music- I started work on recording an album, if you get in touch with me pm or otherwise I'd be more than happy to fill you in