#1
Verse 1:
The other day i got a phone call
from someone i once loved
he had left on short notice
with someone prettier than me
but called to say he was sorry

Verse 2:
He told me she had left him
for someone younger
his heart felt empty as ever
and he knew i could fill it

Chorus:
i hope you're sorry
sorry for leaving
i hope you'll regret it
all of your life
because i know
you'll never find a love
as deep as mine was

Verse 3:
It's funny,
you left for someone prettier,
she left for someone younger,
yet i end up winning
because i know you went through,
twice as much pain as me

Chorus:
I hope you think of me
when you lay down to sleep
think of how bad you screwed up
because you know
you'll never find a love as deep as mine was

Verse 4:
you were the one i thought i'd always have
but you left me all alone
you've come back
but you've had your chance
and i've been fine on my own
so just get out of my life
thanks for reading, crit for crit if you leave a link. if you have suggestions for a better fourth verse or a better title those would be greatly appreciated. thanks again!
Last edited by Cyclones41 at Jan 14, 2007,
#2
Great lyrics. i love songs like that.
Hmm.. I hate to sound emo or anything but your 4th verse should be liek suicidal. Just my opinion.
#3
I'm not sure if verse 2 fits with the song, Not because of the lyrics, but because the lines are alot shorter than the rest of the song...maybe something you would like to look at maybe.

But relatively good either way!!

6/10
#5
alright, i love the way you write here but its pretty cliche. i read the first two verses and i was thought it was really good just because of the way it sounded to me. once you got to the chorus you were just repeating the same cliche ideas that you had already used and that everyone else has used a million times anyway. ya if you can write something more deeper and thought provoking or something it could turn out really good. i think it would work well now as a song because the way you write sounds like it would just sound really good with music, but if yu want it to also say something meaningful you need to use some originality. if you want to look at my new one its in my sig, i would appreciate it. thanks