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#1
Have any of you ever pwned yourselves?

I was playing football once, and I went to catch the ball. I actually caught it, but when I went to bring it into my body, the momentum was too low and I sacked myself It was pretty hilarious, I'll admit, but it hurt like a bitch.
#4
One time I was playing with my $7 glassed bottled water and it exploded in my face.
'J'adore ah les femmes', yeah I love my riches, 'bonjour' money and 'au revoir' bitches
#6
One time I went up to a big fat black guy three years older than me a couple years ago and said the n word in front of him. You can imagine what happened next.
I love neapolitan ice cream, but I HATE VANILA AND STRAWBERRY!

Tremulous Name:
Aaron-[UVache]
#7
one time i posted in a thread that asked "whats the cheesiest band?" so i didnt read it fully and wrote "styx, cheap trick and hair metal" then i later i realized that the actual thread was "cheesiest band that you like" but the thread was closed so i couldnt edit it.

I cant stand styx, cheap trick, and hair metal. lol
My Rig:
Fender American Strat w/ texas specials
Martin DX1
Blueridge Br73
1968 Domino Californian
Stagg bass
2006 Fender hot rod deluxe
Gretsch Electromatic compact amp
among others
#8
1The_Trooper1 pwned himself when he made a dumb thread about Iron Maiden in a fit of fanboyism.
#9
once when i was young i was in "daycare" and we were going for a walk to the park (i was like 5 or 6) and i decided to be awsome and run ahead of everyone. While i was running i looked back to see how far ahead i was and as soon as i looked forward again i ran straight into a parking meter lol
Quote by Burtonjp
Thats right.. I'm drooling over your body... *walks off and registers as a gay sex offender *


~We Rock Out With Our Cocks Out!: UG Naked Club.~
Post a naked picture of yourself with your guitar to join.
#11
Quote by 1The_Trooper1
Holy shit! That was great!

Yes, yes it was. :snyper:
#12
Yes, once I accidentally stabbed myself in the heart and died...
Okay no, that didnt actually happen but iv done sum pretty stupid things.
-Ran across the stage @ skul and ran into a curtain that sum1 had placed a giant set piece for drama behind that hadnt been there the day before. Needless to say, there was blood
'08 Gretsch White Falcon
'98 Fender USA Deluxe Tele
'79 Greco Les Paul Standard
Airline Stratotone Crafter GAE8

A bunch of funky pedals

Handwired 50 Watt Plexi Lead Clone w/ Orange 4x12
#13
Quote by Zuka
Maybe not self-pwnage, but it's funny as hell.

https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=456978

If that was staged it would've been one of those lame Esurance puns, but that was great. Sincerely, great.
"Guitarmen, wake up and pluck wire for sound, let 'em hear you play"
-Charlie Christian
"You have to give people something to dream on"
-Jimi Hendrix
"I try to make any guitar do what I want it to do"
-Slash
#14
I had a really really crappy strap on my guitar. I turned around kind of fast and it swung forward. The strap fell off my strat, but only at the bridge end. As gravity brought the guitar closer to me i tried to stop it but it ended up swinging into my sack. Then i had to catch my guitar.
#16
Quote by Metal claw
Back when I had a Windows 2000 computer it got infected with some Trojan and I was trying to fix it. I searched for help online and read about how to do it, so I went to DOS mode afterwards and typed a del command. I accidentally hit enter before finishing typing and I just watched it erase a lot of stuff in my systems directory.

Oh my God! Oh my God! You so ****ing Pwned yourself!! LMFAO! ROFL!
#17
wow this thread went to sh1t real quick
Quote by Burtonjp
Thats right.. I'm drooling over your body... *walks off and registers as a gay sex offender *


~We Rock Out With Our Cocks Out!: UG Naked Club.~
Post a naked picture of yourself with your guitar to join.
#19
Dropped a sledge hammer on my toe, over the handel bar on my bike 3x, when I was younger I put a sleeping bag over my head and body and let myself fall forward trying to fall into the coffee table using my hands and missed. (really bruised nose). Broken wrist climbing on stuff, dropped weights on my fingers and toes, kicked stuff with my toes, fallin down the stairs while trying to go up four steps at a time, jumped down stairs like 30 times, stapled my hand on purpose like 10 times....bunch of other stuff, including sacking myself countless times and falling backwards nailing my head against hard floor...
#20
dive bombed to hard whole ****n floyd rose came out =x
schecter tempest blackjack!

ummm wait what?
#21
when i was 12, i was riding the neighbours tricycle backwards down the driveway. i put my feet down to stop from going off the kerb onto the road, but i was going too fast and crashed the trike into the backs of my feet and almost cut my achiles tendon. i could hardly walk, and left bloody footprints up to the front door of my house. knocked on the door and had to sit down on the ground till someone came to help me. i still have scars 13 years on.
What business is it of yours what I do, read, buy, see, say, think, who I fuck, what I take into my body as long as I do not harm another human being on this planet? I'll answer for you. NONE OF YOUR FUCKING BUSINESS.
- Bill Hicks
#22
I was skateboarding, went for an ollie, sacked myself it really hurt, and while i was down i thought how could anybody find this funny.

Never did skate seriously after that
Quote by Meths

Obviously I'm biased towards the correct point of view. What kind of retard isn't?


#23
I had just moved into my new house, and I was going down stairs and decided to jump the last of the way down. I forgot that it had a wall hanging down part of it, and hit my head and knocked myself out.
#25
One time my mother made me ride my bike to a neighbor's house to borrow a clove of garlic. I didn't especially want to but I tried to make the best of it... On the way back, my mom was outside to get something from the car and I was trying to show off with my mad biking skillz. Anyway, I was waving the bag of garlic up in the air and I lost control of the bike, hitting the brakes, flipping over the handlebars, and hitting my head onto the side of the car (which now has a moderately sized dent). Also, I managed to get a nicely sized bruise very close to the ballsack at some point during the incident.
[SIZE=
#27
tonight i was doing the robot, but then for some strange reason i hit myself in the testicles while i was doing it
#28
Quote by RawrDemon
One time I kicked myself in the balls.


With my FACE. Pwned.



Sigged.


This one time, I played a game of Russian Roulette with myself.


And I won.


Pwned.
#31
Oh the memories..

I was trying to catch a car that was going about 18 miles an hour.. grabbed the bumper and lost my footing.. thus slipping and knocking my face on pavement

Tried to jump from one trampoline to the other, jumped to far and racked myself on one of the springs

Tried to do a guitar swing(around my shoulders and what-not) headstock came back around and ass raped me...

My best one.. I play tuba in the school band and we have regular marching tubas that go on our shoulder, not sousaphones, and I was trying to do a visual where I threw it in the air and tried to catch it on my shoulder and continue playing. The wind caught it just a tad bit and moved it over and the bell smacked me in the forehead leaving me with 16 stitches and unconcious in the middle of the football field.
#32
Once I jumped off a garage and knee'd myself in the face. Oh and when I went to squash a bee with my bare foot, < not really a self ownage but I provoked the stinging.
yo.

I BELIEVE
#33
Well... At one time, when I was rather enraged, I threw a solid rubber ball at a wall with significant force.

Needless to say, I pwned myself right inbetween the eyes, knocking myself over. Looking like an ass in front of a good few people is never good for the rage.
"I feel sorry for James Blunt, he has to wake up every morning and think 'Ah man, I'm James Blunt'"
Last edited by Hot Pants at Jan 15, 2007,
#35
i love how almost all these stories involve hurting yourself.
thats why i love the one about the computer and deleting everythign. hahaha
#36
omfg this happened sunday

i do alter service at church, and i was doing like the sunday one where theres like 500 people and we were just standing by the chairs and my priest tells me to get something from the alter, but i didnt hear that, so i go to the podium (where he did the gospel) and look for it and i couldnt find it so i was like wtf and raising my hands up and then he walks to the alter and gets it and i go "OHHHHHH" like really really really loud and then everyone laughs and i feel like shit. to make it worse, then my priest goes like its ok and then *more laughter* needless to say it was pretty gay.
#38
i was at my gf's friends house about 4 years ago she was staying the night and the girls parents left so they invited me over and we were in the basement which has a wall splitting it down the middle and her parents came home so i ran to go out the wood hatch and there was a blanket covering the doorway into the other side of the basement and stupid me didnt think and ran, jumped off the couch (which was also infront of the doorwar) through the blanket and landed right ontop of a rocking chair sitting on the other side, chair went backwards broke the back off it and i hit my head on the water heater and passed out, then they draged me over to the wood pile and hid me behind it, when i came too i sat there for a few minuites feeling the huge lump on my head and trying to firgue out what happened, then i snuck out the wood hatch and walked (very slowly and confused) home. yeah, I pwned my self hard
Quote by Zeppfreak170
I onece dumped a girl that I was seeing who already had a boyfriend... So anyway she put on like a stone and i dumped her telling her it was because i felt really guilty etc etc.

But really it's cos she got fat!

No fat chicks !
#39
Quote by grantml02
i was at my gf's friends house about 4 years ago she was staying the night and the girls parents left so they invited me over and we were in the basement which has a wall splitting it down the middle and her parents came home so i ran to go out the wood hatch and there was a blanket covering the doorway into the other side of the basement and stupid me didnt think and ran, jumped off the couch (which was also infront of the doorwar) through the blanket and landed right ontop of a rocking chair sitting on the other side, chair went backwards broke the back off it and i hit my head on the water heater and passed out, then they draged me over to the wood pile and hid me behind it, when i came too i sat there for a few minuites feeling the huge lump on my head and trying to firgue out what happened, then i snuck out the wood hatch and walked (very slowly and confused) home. yeah, I pwned my self hard


183 words, one full stop.
#40
Quote by grantml02
i was at my gf's friends house about 4 years ago she was staying the night and the girls parents left so they invited me over and we were in the basement which has a wall splitting it down the middle and her parents came home so i ran to go out the wood hatch and there was a blanket covering the doorway into the other side of the basement and stupid me didn't think and ran, jumped off the couch (which was also in front of the doorway) through the blanket and landed right on top of a rocking chair sitting on the other side, chair went backwards broke the back off it and i hit my head on the water heater and passed out, then they dragged me over to the wood pile and hid me behind it, when i came too i sat there for a few minutes feeling the huge lump on my head and trying to figure out what happened, then i snuck out the wood hatch and walked (very slowly and confused) home. yeah, I pwned my self hard



ummm how could you be at your girlfriends house, and have her staying the night
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