#1
There's a darker side to me
Its a side I let no one see
But without it, theres no way I would be
Why won't you come back to me?

Now is the time to decide, what is right?
Now we must choose: Life or death?

Hold me tighter
Stay forever more........NO!!!

There's a secert buried deep within my mind
Its something you won't find
In a book, in a dream
Unless you come back to me

Now, we will break this isolation!
Now, we hail through this desolation!

You will see
Its only me......NO!!!
Last edited by 3rdActguitarist at Jan 15, 2007,
#2
I was about to give you a really good crit then I fell for your ctrl+w trick!

But seriously I think its pretty good but it needs a bit of work. I like the verses, especially the first, but the chorus doesn't seem to fit together that well to me.

Now, we will break this isolation!
Now, we hail through this desolation!

I think these two lines could sound really cool if you screamed them over and over again

Could you take a look at mine?
#3
I like the rhyme scheme except in the first verse, everything rhymes with "me" but it still flows it would just get tiring if you listened to the song over and over again and you're kind of expecting what it is going to say. The Chorus with No in it is kinda unexpected, a good trait. But still a good song. And could you like give an example of what this is supposed to be, like a genre or song, but im guessing thrash metal.
Fender Strat '62 With Clapton signal processor and Fender Lace Sensors
Kustom DFX 100 (2x12)
Fender 150W all tube '64 vintage Amp (2x12)
Influences: Black Sabbath, Metallica, Megadeth

Say to Emo's.
#4
Not exactly thrash metal. I was aiming along the lines of maybe Indie or Modern rock. Pre-Chrous is screamed, but the "What is right?" and "Life or Death" parts are sung. The chorus comes in as a melody with the same vocal pitches
Last edited by 3rdActguitarist at Jan 15, 2007,