#1
This song is set in a totalitarian state, when fourteen men work up the courage to go outside and try to make a statement by setting fire to a government building. They are quickly assaulted and killed by government personnel, and the censorship in the nation prevents their message from ever being seen, so their efforts to become martyrs are wasted.

A fellow revolutionary, who favors planning over the direct-action aspect that these fellows had, sees the coverage on the propaganda screen that he is required by law to have in his dwelling. He is writing about his anarchist ideals, trying to keep the surveillance cameras in his home from observing him. The coverage writes them off as mentally ill, and not trying to make any particular statement.

This is probably going to open the concept album I'm writing. It's an up-tempo hardcore punk song, in the vein of "Chamber the Cartridge" by Rise Against.

Soldiers clad in black fatigues pummel those with broken dreams
As fire wreathes across the streets, tear gas blinds the few that see
Fourteen men revolt and they see their end this very day
Revolution crushed under the iron blade that sunders…

Everything they ever said, everyone they fought
Every burning flag and every concept that they taught
Wasted now, for martyrdom is nothing anymore
He dictates they don’t exist, they are of no concern

Coffee stains on works of reason that’d get me hung for treason
Corner where the eye can’t see becomes the niche that harbors me
Propaganda on the screen, never gone, and I can see the
Soldiers clad in black fatigues, the fire, gas, and broken dreams

Everything they ever said, everyone they fought
Every burning flag and every concept that they taught
Wasted now, for martyrdom is nothing anymore
He dictates that they don’t exist, they are of no concern

The pen touches paper and I write another line
Convert the hate they taught me into discontent and shame
Shame for where I live and under whom and by what rules
I’ll be the one who murders all these closed-minded fools


Please critique
Member #7 of the "...Still Waiting for the Zombie Holocaust" club. PM Smokey Amp to join.


Nothing from nowhere, I'm no one at all
Radiate, recognize one silent call
As we all form one dark flame...
Incinerate!
Last edited by GarageGuitarist at Jan 15, 2007,
#2
dude this ****ing rocks i love it.there isnt one thing bad i can say about this at all well done you have incredible talent


do mine?thanks
What have we learned.....

Words are weightless here on earth,
because they're free


.....from this wee exercise?
Last edited by con job at Jan 15, 2007,
#3
It is really good, and I don't think that it would do you any favors to change it. keep up the good work man, and crit any one of mine if want to...
I massacre the guitar but make beautiful music in the process. Grunge lives through me!
#5
It's not a war song. It's a protest song, of sorts.
Member #7 of the "...Still Waiting for the Zombie Holocaust" club. PM Smokey Amp to join.


Nothing from nowhere, I'm no one at all
Radiate, recognize one silent call
As we all form one dark flame...
Incinerate!