#1
Guys I just wrote this dunno where it came from but it's here so i thought i would post it i don't think it's that great but i might work on it depending on crit thanks in advance

Verse 1

You Always Run Away
From All The Problems In Your Life
You Wait For A Better Day
You Try And Hide From All The Lies
You Look So Alone
You Got Nothing To Do
Your Hardly Even Known
I Can Help You

Chorus

Step Into My World
And You'll A Better Life
I Can Give You This
There Ain't No Need To Hide
So Come Along With Me
And Baby You Will See
You Can Come Into My Dreams

Verse 2

You Never Had Any Friends
Or Anyone To Talk To
Stayed In At The Weekends
You Didn't Think Anyone Knew
But It's Time Come Out Here
Everyones Waiting
You Got Nothing To Fear
So Come Along With Me

Chorus

Step Into My World
And You'll A Better Life
I Can Give You This
There Ain't No Need To Hide
So Come Along With Me
And Baby You Will See
You Can Come Into My Dreams
#2
the word YOU appears WAY to much.....but i like the angle and where your comin from with it
Check for "Taking a Picture (Won't capture this)
#3
i thought it was a bit cliched. some of the lines dont' flow too well. you deffinately have material for a good song here though.
#4
This song sounds like a lovesick teenager poem.Has a very standard rhyming scheme.And YOU appears alot.I have no idea what kind of genre it would fit into or any music to go along with it.Uses very standard words also.But just because I don't like it doesn't mean it isn't good.
Fender Strat '62 With Clapton signal processor and Fender Lace Sensors
Kustom DFX 100 (2x12)
Fender 150W all tube '64 vintage Amp (2x12)
Influences: Black Sabbath, Metallica, Megadeth

Say to Emo's.
#5
Thx guys i dunno where it came from like i said i think i wrote it in about 10 minutes might explain a few things lol but i think i'll take what you guys have said and work on it see what i can come up with