#1
well i wrote this poem about this picture of a man during the great depression...it started off as just a school project a year ago....got me heavily into poems, and helped me alot with writing songs....tell me what u think...n/e ways...its called silhouettes


Silhouettes

some say the eyes of one,
Tell a story of another

Like the eyes of a man in despair

The helplessness of someone struggling,

Wishing for anything,

maybe the the simplest of all,

Hope.

Hungered wrinkles clutter his face,
showing old age,

giving away his frightful past

forgetting seems inevitable

the doubtful look he gives
is the only thing he can give

There's nothing left of this broken man

No wife in the morning,

no son to teach

just a lifeless being,

hanging onto air

but throiugh his eyes

i see a silohouette...
a silhouette of many others.
#2
first off,, edit this thread and rename it silhouettes before the mods close it.

then read the FAQ's so you don't get yelled at in the future,, and as for my crit...

it is decent, but there needs to be a bit more story in it,, not length, just something to better attract the audiance to empathize with this man
Last edited by David Roby at Jan 17, 2007,
#3
You've been here how long? And you still cant title threads. I've half a mind to give you a warning. But I'll be nice.
Filth, pure filth... That's what you are.