#1
have at it hope you enjoy, constructive critisism is more then welcome and greatly desired, crit 4 crit , i'm a fair man (please excuse any typoes lol)

This Is Tragedy

Far away there you go
And there you remain
Come back
I miss you so
You absence gives me pain
When will the time be?
For me and you
I cannot take any more solitude
I miss you

(Chorus)

I miss you
And I love you
You’ll never have to come back if you never start to go
Don’t leave me here alone now it’s so dark and it’s so cold
I miss you
And I love you
You’ll never need to come back if you never start to go

I’ll hand you my heart
But I’ll need it back one day
Like flowers with opposing suns
We get further away
Give me your hand; I’ll never lie to you
I cannot take any more solitude
I miss you

(Chorus)

Oh please
As the sirens pass
Don’t leave me here tonight
Hold on
To my voice
Walk away from the bright
Light shining in you eyes
Come back to my
Arms, Oh God
This is tragedy
Now she’s never coming back
Give me
A cross to bear
So that I mat bring her back
I cannot take any more solitude
I cannot take this solitude I miss you

(Chorus)
(2nd Chorus)
I miss you
And I love you
Your never coming back now you’re as far as u can go
Even though I’m here alone for you I’ll make it through the cold
I miss you
And I love you
Come show me you’re an angel come show me as I dream
There’ll never be another angel you were the only one for me
#2
I would suggest using bigger words, and it comes across as being very jr.high, but the concept works it just comes off as generic.
#3
cliche to da extreme. Forced rhyming. This piece is overall displeasing to the eyes.
Wade in the water, child.
#4
I didn't think it was displeasing. It may have had cliches out the butt and kinda ged me down, but it had a good meaning and a good rhyme and rhythm. Chorus did seem average without having larger grade words but it still sounded good to me even if it was a little Disney.
Fender Strat '62 With Clapton signal processor and Fender Lace Sensors
Kustom DFX 100 (2x12)
Fender 150W all tube '64 vintage Amp (2x12)
Influences: Black Sabbath, Metallica, Megadeth

Say to Emo's.