#1
old song...made alot of changes want some feedback..


what the hell are we living for?


10 P.M. Im watchin T.V.
Seeing all the people stricken with misery
Cities being bombed, Countries at War
What the hell are we living for?

Open and look through the outside door

When everyday brings fear
it brings more people to tears
Leaving an emptyness inside of them
Praying to go home again

Soldiers need some confidence,
to keep all their promises,
Opening up the outside door,
taking a peek inside the war

Looking at life, and its not easy
Seeing all the people stricken with misery
Cities being bombed, Countries at War
Looking inside the outside door

So stop and shed some tears
Why the hell are we living here?
Knowing what we have in store[should i change to "knowing that death is in store?"]
What the hell are we living for?

10 P.M. Im watchin T.V
Seeing all the people stricken with misery
So stop and shed a tear
Why the hell are we living here?

Looking at life, and its not easy
Seeing all the people stricken with misery
Knowing what we have in store,
What the hell are we living for?

Cities being bombed, countries at war
What the hell are we living for?

10 P.M im watchin the TV.......
Check for "Taking a Picture (Won't capture this)
#2
nice man, really this is a good piece of material, im all into thrash and this to me is a subject matter that talk about within the genre. Maybe with a little more feelings it seems also. Good man and those 2 lines you want to change both sound as good as the other up to you to decide.
Quote by Bodom_Shredder7
fucking n00b.


#3
10 P.M. Im watchin T.V.
Seeing all the people stricken with misery
Cities being bombed, Countries at War
What the hell are we living for?

In the second line, seeing doesn't seem like the right word to use to me. The first line may need a bit of work, although it could just be me.

Open and look through the outside door

Too bland and almost cliche to me. I would suggest scrapping this and writing another metaphor. It's not really up to par with the rest of the song.

When everyday brings fear
it brings more people to tears
Leaving an emptyness inside of them
Praying to go home again

The first rhyming pair is really simple and predictable, making it sound almost forced. In the third line, emptyness doesn't really get the point across. I suggest replacing it with another word and rewriting that line so it isn't a participle, it sounds awkward with the last line.

Soldiers need some confidence,
to keep all their promises,
Opening up the outside door,
taking a peek inside the war

Weakest verse. I suggest taking out some in the first line and use a stronger verb for the second line.

Looking at life, and its not easy
Seeing all the people stricken with misery
Cities being bombed, Countries at War
Looking inside the outside door

I don't like the first line, it seems awkward. I suggest rewording this.

So stop and shed some tears
Why the hell are we living here?
Knowing what we have in store[should i change to "knowing that death is in store?"]
What the hell are we living for?

Love this verse. The best of all most definitely. I would go with the first choice for the second line.

10 P.M. Im watchin T.V
Seeing all the people stricken with misery
So stop and shed a tear
Why the hell are we living here?

Looking at life, and its not easy
Seeing all the people stricken with misery
Knowing what we have in store,
What the hell are we living for?

Cities being bombed, countries at war
What the hell are we living for?

10 P.M im watchin the TV.......

Overall, this is pretty good. I think I did read the original, it sounds a bit familiar. I really like the whole tone of the song and the message. Reminds me of Holiday, which coming from me, is a tremendous compliment. Hope this helps a bit. Great job, man.
Cause I love feelin' dirty
And I love feelin' cheap
And I love it when you hurt me
So drive those staples deep