#1
Hey please crit just finished this piece thanks in advance

Back To The Start

Verse 1

You Always Fade Away
Into Somewhere That You Don't Belong
Passing Every Shade Of Grey
Speaking Right And Doing Wrong
This Isn't What Your Like
But Still You Never Fight
You Give In All The Time

Chorus

So Come Outside Of Your Shell
And Walk Amoungst The Stars
Your Trapped In A Living Hell
Too Afraid To Show Your Scars
Still Fading To Grey
It's Time You Walked This Way

Verse 2

You Never Gave Me Warning
Of What You Were About To Do
In Your Life The Rains Still Pouring
And Darkend Could You Can't See Through
Your Still Falling In Your Heart
Still Afraid Of The Dark

Chorus

So Come Outside Of Your Shell
And Walk Amoungst The Stars
Your Trapped In A Living Hell
Too Afraid To Show Your Scars
Still Fading To Grey
It's Time You Walked This Way

Bridge

So Afraid
No Where To Go
Living Hell
This You Know
Fade To Grey
Can't You See
That I Can't Stand It That Way

Chorus

Came Outside That Shell
And Walked Along With Me
You Left That Living Hell
It's A Brighter Sky That You See
No More Darkness In Heart
I'll Take You Back To The Start
#2
not bad. I think that you used the word "fade" too much, and it lost its impact. Unusual rhyme scheme for the first stanza. However, you switch in and out of rhyme schemes, which could prevent the song from flowing as well.
The chorus is certainly catchy and memorable. I like the way the focus switches in the last chorus. It shows that there is hope around the bend, and I am a big fan of that in pieces. Can't go wrong with some optimism in life, can ya??
Overall, i think you've constructed a pretty decent piece here. I wouldn't type using capital letters all the time, as it is hard on the ears, and prevents any visual impact. There's a few spelling mistakes too, so proof read before you post in future. Look forward to reading more of your stuff. keep writing.
if you can, please crit mine. thanks. https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=505498
"What about the neighbours?? What they gonna say?? Stop little sister getting carried away" - SRV. The greatest guitarist of all time.
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Evvo_gc_fan is supercalifragilisticexpialidocious.


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I liked it.
Is it about fucking?