#1
This is my first effort to right a song, so it's sctechy.
LET’S GO LET’S GO!!!

Stop waiting for this to show
The sun will not illuminate
The fact that’s been in front of you for so long
(So long…..)
Oh so long

Short Riff

Stop the fighting and come clean
You know your busted
Trashed for the lies you spread
It all comes back one day or another……
(I’ll get you)

SO LET’S GO LET’S GO
To the water to cleanse all of this
The s*** that was said again and again
(Again and again)
To stop the madness that constricted our lives
So just hold on
(HOLD ON *echo*)
So long!!!!

(So long)

Short guitar riff


I think its not that good and needs ALOT of work but thats my opinion I want yours.
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#3
Yea, it definitly could be better. I dunno where to begin improiving. I think you just need to revise the whole entire thing. Sorry I can't be much help.
"Imagine all the people, sharing all the world"
-John Lennon
#5
^ good call.


Oh by the way, crit for crit? My lyrics are on the first page of s&l called 'for peace (working title).
"Imagine all the people, sharing all the world"
-John Lennon