#1
It's meant to be a random song that would open up a cd. Kick start it so to speak.
It's not meant to be depressing, it's kinda optimistic about wanting to move on really...

(RE EDIT)

When You're Gone

VERSE:
I don't understand a word you're saying,
everything sounds so strange.
And it's you not me who keeps on praying,
that our life will change.
You're gettin' fed up of the way we're living,
your words are knives today.
Are you taking enough for what you're giving,
when I ignore you anyway.

BRIDGE:
Life brings me down, and it just won't play fair.
My soul is slipping away and you just don't care.

CHORUS:
We threw our life away, and our luck was finally drawn.
The lines on your face, fill with lies & disgrace.
I'll be glad when you're gone.

VERSE 2:
I don't see where we're going,
everyday seems out of place.
I won't stand for the shit you're showing,
And now we're losing faith.
We call out a truce to stop the hurt,
the feelings have run dry.
Tired and relieved with all we'd learnt,
leave me and don't say goodbye.

(Break)

Life brings me down, and it just won't play fair.
My soul is slipping away and you just don't care.

We threw our life away, and our luck was finally drawn.
The lines on your face, fill with lies & disgrace.
I'll be glad when you're gone.

Said I'll be glad when you're gone.
Last edited by borntodie at Jan 21, 2007,
#2

VERSE:
I don't understand a word you're saying,
everything sounds so strange.
And it's you not me who keeps on prayin',actually use the G at the end of praying, it'll be more consistant witht he rest
that our life will change.
You're gettin' fed up of the way we're living,
your words are knives today.
Are you taking enough for what you're giving,
when I ignore you anyway. Good flow, I like the rhyme scheme of this one

BRIDGE:
Life brings me down, and it just won't play fair.
My soul is slipping away and you just don't care. It's "eh" nothing special, but not too terrible, IMO

CHORUS:
We threw our life away,
maybe our luck was finally drawn.
The lines on your face,
fill with lies & disgrace.
I'll be glad when you're gone.the last line seems wierd, and screws the flow up for me. The chorus is ok, could be better though

VERSE 2:
I don't have much left to have myself,seems awkward and makes little sense
I have you and that I can replace.
Talking has become a no go zone,
Since we lost our faith.
We call out a truce to stop the hurt,
because the feelings run dry.
Tired and relieved with all we'd learnt,
our setting sun is nigh. feels wierd

(Break)

Life brings me down, and it just won't play fair.
My soul is slipping away and you just don't care.

We threw our life away,
maybe our luck was finally drawn.
The lines on your face, fill with lies & disgrace.
I'll be glad when you're gone.

Said I'll be glad when you're gone.

It's okay, could be alot better IMO. I liked the first verse, but it started to go downhill after that IMO. 7/10. If you get a chance, could you crit mine? (check sig) Thanks
#4
Saying, Praying, Living, Giving.. I've heard these rhymes many times before maybe you should change some of them..
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#5
We've all heard the same words being used before. I'd rather be direct with lyrics, than using tons of complex words and metaphors that people won't understand/can't relate to ;p