#1
We've been sitting by the window awhile.
Aren't you even a little scared?
We've been sitting by the fire awhile.
Aren't you even a little worried?

There comin. but they aren't gonna make it in time.
We're burning, yet you think everything will be fine.

I like the lipstick you're wearing.
It shows real well in the flames.
I like your facial expression.
It shows real well in eyes.

Still working on it.
#2
hmm.. to be honest, i don't like it sorry.
but thats just my opinion, someone else could like it a lot...
you should rhyme a bit, that makes lyrics so much better imo.
#3
well i dont like to rhyme just to rhyme. but if i can see a pretty good connection then ill use the rhyme
#4
Quote by bgilb
We've been sitting by the window awhile.
Aren't you even a little scared?
We've been sitting by the fire awhile.
Aren't you even a little worried?

There comin. but they aren't gonna make it in time.
We're burning, yet you think everything will be fine.

between these two it seems likee your describing something but not letting us know what your describing. idk if you wanted that or not but if your still working on it id definitly trying to go into more detail

I like the lipstick you're wearing.
It shows real well in the flames.
I like your facial expression.
It shows real well in eyes.

ya i do like this part. you still need to specify on your overall idea but this makes a really cool addition to the song i think

Still working on it.

so ya good start as long as you do develope an explaination eventually, if not, well, its just gonna be kind of empty but i think it would sound cool anyway and its pretty good writing IMO.
if you could crit my newest in my sig please? thanks