I'm not too sure what to say about that. It is good, but I;m not sure if they work together well. If I were you I'd just separate them, as you have to very good lines there, but they dont compliment each other very well. If you can work them better into a song it would be good though.

Can you crit mine? https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=511892
"Their fate is in each others hands as they decide whether to share... or to shaft"
Robert Kilroy-Silk from his sadly shortlived quiz-show Shafted.

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