#2
that was really good but it definately needs to be longer, I really loved what I saw it reminds me of certain songs I love so it was a score to hear this bravo.
#3
yea i definitley agree it needs to be longer, thats just a start though, but wanted to see what people think of the main structure of the song. next to add will be some acoustic interludes, melodic bridges, and some leads over soon to be added rhythm parts. cant wait to see what the finished product is like, i dont plan it out, i just go with it and see what comes out.
#4
Pretty good. The riffage was very solid for its genre and it was all very melodic. My only suggestion is that it's a little generic (stylistically very similar to many songs of its genre) so you'll probably want to put something very unique for the bridge or chorus. Still, it has strong dynamics and the drumming ain't bad either

Crit for crit?

https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?p=8043199#post8043199
#5
im not a drummer so i thought the drums were just really basic, just something to keep a beat and hold the timing, lol. thanks for the crit though!
#6
mp3 added as well, damn link makes you wait like 30 seconds to download it, but check it out anyway!
#8
It's a good start. On the parts where you have the second guitar harmonizing, I think it would sound better to use thirds instead of fourths, IMO.

For example in bars 3-4:

      S S S S  S S S S  S S S S S S S  S  
-||--------------------------------------|
-||--------------------------------------|
*||*-------------------------------------|
*||*---------------8-7-------------------|
-||---0---8---10-------10---8-------8-10-|
-||---0-0---0----0--------7---7-7-7-8-10-|  
  S S S S  S S S S  S S E  E   E          
-----------------------------------||
-----------------------------------||
----------------------------------*||*
---------------8-7----------------*||*
--8---8---10-------10---7--8--10---||
--8-8---8----8--------8-7--8--10---||
last.fm | Rush Hour | Dead Format
Quote by HxC73107
pray for plagues or off the heezay by bring me the horizon both great songs specially when ur at a pit at trhe reall show
#9
ive never had lessons or anything so no idea what third or fourths are, i just pretty much go at it by ear. eventually ill learn the theory lol
#10
I added drums and bass for you... although this is obviously far from being finished...

You do a pretty good job of sticking to the natural minor scale for someone who doesn't know any theory... don't be lazy about learning man, it's a very handy tool to have.

The song itself is a little too repetitive and the riffs are simple and common for the genre... don't worry, just add some more stuff and add some more variety to the fills.

Best of luck.
Attachments:
Forever Dismay - Exiled Into Existance.zip
#11
yea ill get around to learning one of these days, lol, the mp3 is a bit better then the gp5 file, just because its a lot easier just to play something then sit down and tab it for hours.
#13
it is sort of Avenged Sevenfoldish, especially with the main riff.
The main riff was really good and i agree with using thirds instead of fourths, or even better, mixing the two together so you have a more unique harmony sound, that would sound very good with the riff at bars 15-18.
And yes the drums hold the beat very well but i don't like how it randomly goes into blastbeats on bar 17 then back to normal.
I'd like to see what you come up with for the acoustic interludes and leads because this could turn into a big sounding song. I'd also like to see how this turns out as a whole, full song. I think it'll be really great.

crit mine please? https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=512517
#14
Quote by leo_p8
I added drums and bass for you... although this is obviously far from being finished...

You do a pretty good job of sticking to the natural minor scale for someone who doesn't know any theory... don't be lazy about learning man, it's a very handy tool to have.

The song itself is a little too repetitive and the riffs are simple and common for the genre... don't worry, just add some more stuff and add some more variety to the fills.

Best of luck.


Wow, those drums really improved the song. But it's good itself, definitely use distortion guitars instead of overdrive, I even did that after listening to like 3 bars of the first song. I don't really see anything bad with it, good job. I liked it a lot, and I'd very much like to hear the finished song.

Would you please crit mine ?