#1
Ok here goes, be gentle but honest.

Everything


Walks into the room takes my breath away
Something she does everyday
She makes time stand still for me
She cures my blindness so I can see

She is.......She is.....She is everything to me

When she leaves I let out a little sigh
'Cause it's just to hard to say goodbye
She brings out the man in me
And she brings me to my humble knees

She is.......She is.....She is everything to me
#2
Everything


Walks into the room takes my breath away
Something she does everyday
She makes time stand still for me
She cures my blindness so I can see

Ok, so there is 1, 1, 2, 2 rhyming here. That is not really bad, just a bit boring, however, it can work sometimes. I cannot really find how the flow works here. The second 2 lines work, but the first 2 don't.

The 3rd and 4th lines are a bit cliche. Not bad, just a bit overused.



She is.......She is.....She is everything to me

When she leaves I let out a little sigh
'Cause it's just to hard to say goodbye
She brings out the man in me
And she brings me to my humble knees

This verse is better than the first. The 1st 2 lines are the best in my opinion. They are a bit cliche, but have feeling to them, which is a really good thing. The 2nd 2 lines are alright. Nothing orgasmic, but alright.


She is.......She is.....She is everything to me


I give this song about 6.5/10. It's not that it is really bad or anything, just that if I was listening to it, there would be nothing to make me think "HOLY CRAP THAT SONG WAS AWESOME, I GOTTA BUY THE CD RIGHT NOW!". I would probably think "Ok" and then forget about it later.

So my advice is to try and add something (at the start) that people would hear and want to keep listening to the song. This is called the hook.
#3
Thanks for the critique J, I know it lacks a bit in verse, however, the music accompanying it adds much more depth and helps to relay the emotion a little better.