#1
the odd behaviour

of destroying

when nervous

to pluck the flowers

its pettles

and its stems

its a tourturous life

for the weed

the weed unknowing

its a tourturous life

it is for them

like the moon

theres always a hidden side

the darkness

and unpleasent

we wont find answers

to our questions

by not facing

because in belief

there is LIE

its in beginning

that brings certain excitement

the unimagined

the unexplained

and the unknown

we cant wash our hands of yesterdays past

cause the future and the present

are all the time

the odd behaviour

of destroying

when nervous

to pluck the flowers

its pettles

and its stems

its a terrible life

for the weed

the weed unknowing

its a terrible life

and its for them
Chicks dig me cause I rarely wear underwear, and when I do it's usually something unusual.
64japfender50sfholedhollowbodyearly50stakeharukwk-30000svantageearlyharmonye306withjensenpoweredspeaker00sepiphoneampDF7PedalErnieBallsHybridSlinky
#2
That was amazing! I read it once, then again, then again, until I lost count, I was captivated. I loved the way it was layed out, without punctuation or lines, it only worked that way because it was so well written and had rythym built in.
There was only one line that caught my eye every time I read it-
cause the future and the present are all the time
I personally would have put it-
cause the future and the present are all the same
I loved the theme as well, it's something i've been thinking about for quite some time, and at times I've started poetry on it (all atempts ending up in my poetry graveyard)
Cheers, keep it up!
#3
thanks for the crit im glad u liked it
Chicks dig me cause I rarely wear underwear, and when I do it's usually something unusual.
64japfender50sfholedhollowbodyearly50stakeharukwk-30000svantageearlyharmonye306withjensenpoweredspeaker00sepiphoneampDF7PedalErnieBallsHybridSlinky