#1
I just thought it’d be nice to post a little poem in order to show my appreciation for the wonderful citizens of ‘UG’. Needless to say however, the above sentiment has absolutely nothing to do with the poem itself.

So what will it be? Succinct pretension? Unintelligible rubbish? The second coming? An unholy amalgamation of the aforementioned aphorisms? I’d like to think that suicide was painless.

Low and behold the hypothetical child…
smitten with raincoats and anorexic amber…
silently imbued with a spiritual vocation;
the pension led phonographs of silver split denial…
passively fathered by motherless harlots
… castrated by the wire…
low and behold the hypothetical child…
Incisive inklings of proper piss are unsuited for the quill…
#2
Morning, Will. I'll only give this a quick once-over just now as I've been stricken with the tonsilitis, so I may come back to this at a later date. To be honest, and it may be because I'm both tired and ill, which I find is not the best combination to try to think in, but I couldn't quite get the details behind this, like a plot or something. Once again, you've used your words well but as for a meaning, I can't see anything clearly.

That's all I can manage for now, my head's really sore. If you feel I deserve it, there is one in my sig there, the larger of the two links (I can't even remember it's bloody name).
#3
Cheers mate, and don’t worry about not being in the mental, and or, physical state to write a substantial critique, for be to be honest, my own analytical nous has diminished of late, and it irks me somewhat to say the least.

Anyhow, I hope you get well soon.
Incisive inklings of proper piss are unsuited for the quill…
#4
It was a nice poem, even though almost all of it included big words, they were all used wonderfully, something that dosen't usually happen, and I agree with the other guy though, I get the general idea after thinking about it, but I'd try to be a little more descriptive or try to paint a better picture.
#5
Brilliant! You are a poet, man!
I love the way you have absolute control over your words, though I didn't get the anorexic amber bit on the second line- is amber a chic?
The amber bit didn't seem to flow either.
Apart from that it's the most refreshing thing I've read in ages, keep it up!

Have you heard The Unforgiven by Metallica?
The storyline's basicaly the same, but yours is more poetic.
Last edited by Lightbearer at Jan 24, 2007,
#6
Hendrix, you are making sense, complete and utter sense... i'm not sure if i've grown up or if your writing has become less pretentious (word wise anyway .)

Personally it didn't seem to have the flow or quality of some of your other pieces, so succinct - yes, pretentious - no

Hope you take that as a compliment

the pension led phonographs of silver split denial…


Did however really like that line, made me think of... how to describe it, old families listen to a phonograph and reading papers doing nothing and everything being almost perfect even though you know it's not physically possible for anything to be like that

Am i just simply scrutinizing your piece after having practically made you my poetic deity? most definitely, but i believe you can hold it

It's a nice piece, sweet, short - mind you, in my own ignorance i fail to understand the hypothetic child point and, therefore, the piece in it's entirety. However i do love your use of words

Congratulations Hendrix, welcome back
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#8
Hey Will, good to see you back! I'll get to this one soon enough. Good to see signs of life from your part on UG. Who knows, maybe it'll push me to post a piece (haven't in ages).
#9
Will, I think you will be forever plagued by the lower iq of the rest of the world. I believe the original reason you left was because people liked you for the wrong reasons, because you sounded Shakespearean persay. People liked you cause of big words, they didnt understand the meaning. Though, some here dont understand this, i actually do. I really like it, to be honest, i would of expected a different topic for a first time back poem but this suffices greatly, i like your poetry because its something to think about. I hope you will return, there are some here that appreciate it.
#10
^
I would find the truth (to be) much more agreeable if it adhered to your reasoning. Unfortunately however, that would be too convenient, and as we all know, life isn’t worth living without a daily dose of presupposed animosity.

Anyhow, cheers lads, and thank you for your thoughts.

Antoine, I’ll talk to you later.
Incisive inklings of proper piss are unsuited for the quill…
#11
An interesting topic, if my interpretation serves me right; if it doesn't, i don't particularly care because it's how i see it
Anyway, no one really touches on this kind of thing in the way that you do, and in my opinion, that's the big difference and is why i enjoy reading your writing.
The other thing also, is how when you read it for the first time, you may not pick up much in terms of meaning, but then you read it again and again and you keep adding it all up and building the big picture - if that makes sense.

It's great to see you back Will, keep well.
#12
Ah I love it. It's like there are three types of posts in Hendrix's threads:

1:
i dont get it but its really good! hendrix 4 president!1


2:
Big words don't make you a poet

(Probably posted by me)

3:
I get it, and it's really good. Hendrix for emperor!


Heh. It makes me chuckle.

Anyway. Welcome back. It's nice. I liked the poverty/hardship imagery. That put some very interesting images in my mind. Other than that, it's nice. Not brilliant, not crap. It works and it sounds nice, which is about all you can ask for, if you ask me.

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