#1
New song. Any comments would be apprechiated. Forgive the length, again it'd be apprechiated if you could read through it.

Intro

Verse 1 (instrumental)

Verse 2
The table shakes
And ignorance
Fades
Eden begins to die

The siren tells
Her sorrow,
But
She’s not worried

Hasty retreat
Fueled by
Fear, accents
The scent of the air

The race has
Begun now,
Time is
Running on empty

Verse 3
Forced entry leads
To a discovery
White spheres melt
From the deep red
Seizure of power and
Removal of arms
And you refuse to take my hand…

The escape act won’t
Cover up your scars
The false sorrow and
The open wounds
Hiding behind the wood,
I met a corpse
And it refused to take my hand…


Chorus
Time is the enemy, it’s
Changing your mentality

Time is the enemy, and it’s
Taking you from me

Devastation beyond belief
Altered mentality

Time was your enemy, so
Why do you run from me?

Bridge
But still you
Live
And I,
Won’t let you fade
Away

And you still
Fight
And I,
Can’t let you win
I’m sorry

I can’t give
Up on you
Yet, and yet
You refuse

To give up
Your struggle
Against
Yourself

Your self destructive tendencies will
End everything, one day
It’s just a matter of time

Verse 1 (instrumental)

Verse 2

Leaders
Intrude on
What
You are hiding

Lights dance
On the trees
While the
Sky dreams in color

Your mistakes
Have led to
This
Night of sorrow

We will
All pay
It’s just
A matter of time

Verse 3

Age is setting in
On the idle
Losses en mass
For the ungrateful
Wounds close as
Scars multiply
And the liquid begins to slide down…

Colors begin to fade
On the inside
Bleeding vibrant beauty
As they die
Flesh closes and the
Eyes open
And the tears begin to slide down…

Chorus
Time is the enemy, it’s
Changing your mentality

Time is the enemy, and it’s
Taking you from me

Devastation beyond belief
Altered mentality

Time is your enemy, so
Why do you run from me?

Bridge
But still you
Live
And I,
Won’t let you fade
Away

And you still
Fight
And I,
Can’t let you win
I’m sorry

I can’t give
Up on you
Yet, and yet
You refuse

To give up
Your struggle
Against
Yourself

Your self destructive tendencies will
End everything, one day
It’s just a matter of time

Crit 4 Crit?
Last edited by The way to hate at Jan 24, 2007,
#2
Your not allowed to say crit4crit in your thread title, only the title of the piece goes in the thread title, so please delete this and re-post or else it'll just be closed by a mod.
#3
Quote by stratkat
Your not allowed to say crit4crit in your thread title, only the title of the piece goes in the thread title, so please delete this and re-post or else it'll just be closed by a mod.


Sorry about that.