#1
Crit for crit please, im aware that this poem most likely suckes. But this time i took another approach to writing, i wrote what i really feel at the moment. Without forcing ryhmes, and without searching for corny words... even if this sucks. I reckon i can develop these words, these thoughts and emotions into a well structured poem... sometime.

Thanks in advance.

Another love hate song

The swollen feeling in my chest
Affects all i do and say
I wanna put my mind to rest
But I cant find the words
To express how i feel
The tears that stain my face
Tell a story of lust and love

But i must go on forever
I must find the strength!
To continue
Through this hellhole
Through this void
This excuse of a life

Im no image of man
An empty shell
On the brink of destruction
All i hear is banging on the walls
Of my head
And my heart

I wanna go back
I wanna be my own person
Again


But i must go on forever
I must find the strength!
To continue
Through this hellhole
Through this void
This excuse of a life

This sad
Broken
Excuse of a life
Last edited by Agosen at Jan 25, 2007,
#2
wanna get critted please, dont afraid to be harsh (shameless bump )