#1
i dont really need any help on this song (at least i dont think) except for the second verse which really doesnt flow that great...itd be awesome of some1 could give me a few ideas. ill put the 1st verse and the chorus too just so u can get a feel for it. thanks!


verse 1

you wont answer your phone
and im all alone
i know you blame me but
its all your fault
you changed your mind
now youre unhappy
and lookin for some, sympathy

chorus

well dont expect it from me (x4)

verse 2--?

you knew it killed me,
but you never blinked
only care for yourself
then you realize
maybe you werent so wise
now youve come for, an apology

chorus

well dont expect it from me (x4)


k so yeah give me some ideas if you can thatd be great...thanks again


funkdaddyfresh thanks for the crit. in the other thread that got closed...i kno its def. not that poetic haha but do you have any suggestions for what u said was bad? thanks.
#3
its pretty good, chorus is a bit short but thats ok. for the second verse, mabe u could put it liek this...
you knew it killed me,
tore so deeply at my heart
but you never blinked
only care for yourself
then you realized
maybe you werent so wise
now youve come for, an apology

but you could keep it how it is and it still sounds fine.

crit mine if you could
https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=513467
#5
Quote by cam507
i dont really need any help on this song (at least i dont think) except for the second verse which really doesnt flow that great...itd be awesome of some1 could give me a few ideas. ill put the 1st verse and the chorus too just so u can get a feel for it. thanks!


verse 1

you wont answer your phone
and im all alone
i know you blame me but
its all your fault
you changed your mind
now youre unhappy
and lookin for some, sympathy

TILL HERE ITS OK FLOW IS GOOD

chorus

well dont expect it from me (x4)


I AM NOT MUCH FOND OF REPETITION IN CHORUS MAY BE U CAN ADD 1 MORE LINE TO IT


verse 2--?

you knew it killed me,
but you never blinked try some other word then blinked
only care for yourself
then you realize
maybe you werent so wise
now youve come for, an apology


ok yeah it suffers a flow to a bit but its not that bad


chorus

well dont expect it from me (x4)


k so yeah give me some ideas if you can thatd be great...thanks again


funkdaddyfresh thanks for the crit. in the other thread that got closed...i kno its def. not that poetic haha but do you have any suggestions for what u said was bad? thanks.



i think thats it
Hi