#1
i would have smiled in the picture
if i had known it was the last time i'd be with you
i wish i would have said something that i meant that night
just one last time, its going over in my head

start a new life over
never learning my lessons
that i've been through over and over again
thought i'd get it right this time around
but i'm back to my old ways

i'm walking over
i'm walking over
i'm walking over
the same old lines
so many times
been telling the same old lies

ooh i wanna see you again
maybe tomorrow night, maybe next year
i'll get outta this place
and maybe we'll begin

how could i forget about you
you were everything i wanted to be
i've been wondering about how you've been
do you remember anything?
the times we laughed
the times we cried
all the secrets we tried to hide

i'm walking over
i'm walking over
i'm walking over
the same old lines
so many times
been telling the same old lies

there's no one like you up here
i'm all alone and you're nowhere near
nowhere to hear
to hear these songs i'm singing
and they're all about you
all about what you do, to me

i'm walking over
i'm walking over
i'm walking over
the same old lines
so many times
been telling the same old lies
Last edited by guitardan76 at Jan 29, 2007,
#3
Quote by guitardan76
i would have smiled in the picture
if i had known it was the last time i'd be with you
i wish i would have said something that i meant that night
just one last time, its going over in my head
The lines are a bit long... it gets too wordy i think. I like the first 2 lines, but the flow seems to go away after that

start a new life over
never learning my lessons
that i've been through over and over again
thought i'd get it right this time around
but i'm back to my old ways
Dont like the use of over in both 1st and 3rd lines, i would say change the word over to something else in the first line, since i like the repetition in line 3. The flow seems off again to me

i'm walking over
i'm walking over
i'm walking over
the same old lines
so many times
been telling the same old lies
I would personally say only have i'm walking over twice, it gets a bit tedious on the third time to me, though thats just my personal opinion

ooh i wanna see you again
maybe tomorrow night, maybe next year
i'll get outta this place
and maybe we'll begin
First of all, i really like the last line, i suppose you do too since you've used it as the title. i would think that 'maybe tommorow night' should just be 'maybe tommorow'


i'm walking over
i'm walking over
i'm walking over
the same old lines
so many times
been telling the same old lies


I'd give this about a 7/10, some of the lyrics are really good in my opinion but some of them are a bit weak.

would appreciate crit on this:https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=514134
#4
Quote by guitardan76
i would have smiled in the picture
if i had known it was the last time i'd be with you
i wish i would have said something that i meant that night
just one last time, its going over in my head

I like this, it flows really well the way I'm reading it. I like the content too, I mean who can't connect with that feeling?

start a new life over
never learning my lessons
that i've been through over and over again
thought i'd get it right this time around
but i'm back to my old ways

tails off a bit here, still good flow, not as fond of the content, don't really get any sort of picture or image or feeling from this like i did the first stanza

i'm walking over
i'm walking over
i'm walking over
the same old lines
so many times
been telling the same old lies

I like this, i like the repetition and 'same old lines', excellent chorus.

ooh i wanna see you again
maybe tomorrow night, maybe next year
i'll get outta this place
and maybe we'll begin

Not so hot on the first line, I like the rest of it though

i'm walking over
i'm walking over
i'm walking over
the same old lines
so many times
been telling the same old lies


Good piece, might be a bit short though... not really sure, but it reads very well and I liked it.
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-Sam
Winners are those who refuse to be beaten

Imagination on a Screen

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#5
thanks guys, they were helpful.

I just added 2 more verses to make up for the length being too short now it goes to be about a 4:30 song when i record it the way i was thinking of doing it.