#1
it's a working title...i think.

just looking for a few comments, suggestions and what not. basically i just want to see what you guys have to say

crit4crit?
-----
(spoken repeatedly)
forget about the consequence
who doesn't want the truth?

she walks among the living with a mask across her face
smiling so contagious but she knows that's not the case
caution tapes and pad locks chained across that beating heart
barbed wire fence that blocks us, strongholds we shall blow apart...
i need you to...

enlighten me, enlighten me
pandora's box please set it free
reveal to me the secrets of this world in which you live in
enlighten me, enlighten me
pandora's box please set it free
the answers to the questions burid deep inside your mystery

tainted past in clouded mind that seals it out of sight
the truth beneath the darkened walls that hid in flooding light
no assurance that assumptions will result in things the same
psychic mind confusion, code breaker's paradise set aflame...
so please...

enlighten me, enlighten me
pandora's box please set it free
reveal to me the secrets of this world in which you live in
enlighten me, enlighten me
pandora's box please set it free
the answers to the questions buried deep inside your mystery

[slower, almost spoken/whispered]
she walks among the living with a mask across her face
smiling so contagious but she knows that's not the case
caution tapes and pad locks chained across that beating heart
barbed wire fence that blocks us, strongholds made to blow apart

(instrument build up)
enlighten me, enlighten me
pandora's box please set it free
reveal to me the secrets of this world in which you live in
enlighten me, enlighten me
pandora's box please set it free
the answers to the questions buried deep inside your mystery

[spoken]
forget about the consequence
all i want's the truth...
forget about the consequence
who doesn't want the truth?

(silence)

<hold on, let me think that over...>

----

thanks
Last edited by synd_lv_nd_pz at Jan 29, 2007,
#2
nice work, i don't know about the end bit and some of your sentences would be a bit too long to sing without taking a breath. but apart from that very very nice.
p.s pandora's box is the name of an aerosmith album, just thought i'd let you know
member of the AUSTRALIA FTW! Club. PM the_random_hero join. Australians only

Feel the Rhythm...
#3
can i bump for me to get some comments, suggestions and (constructive)criticism? thanks

crit4crit perhaps?