#1
Well here's something I wrote, it ties in with a story I've been making. I'm relatively new at song writing so I was hoping to get some feedback on how I could improve.

The world can be a lonely place,
You must carry on.

Blaming others for your mistakes,
Won't get you far.

Dwelling, in self pity,
Life isn't fair.

Make best with what you have,
And you'll persevere.

Take control,
Seize the day,
Live your life,
Your own way.
Life is long,
Hope will pay,
Live your life,
Or it'll slip away.

Living life can be a hard task,
Live it your own way.

Knowledge and wisdom,
You gain everyday.

The lives I have lead,
Things I've seen.

Making a different in the world,
Is what it all means.

Take control,
Seize the day,
Live your life,
Your own way.
Life is long,
Hope will pay,
Live your life,
Or it'll slip away
#2
honestly, scrap it and start over. You can do better. I have faith in you.
If to live is to die, then is to die to live? Thats a bunch of S_H_I_T.