#1
kinda grunge / alternative

im not mine
i dont claim me
im just fine
please dont blame me
stand in line
wait to maim me
im not mine
i dont claim me

now, same thing every way
same thing everyday
repeatedly offended
thats just splendid

your not mine
i dont claim you
im just fine
cause i blamed you
wait in line
till i name you
your not mine
i dont claim you

now, same thing every way
same thing everyday
repeatedly offended
thats just splendid

a prey to me is a prey to you dont pray to me ill pray to you
Don't try engaging me
The vaguest of shrugs
The prescription drugs
You'll never find
A person inside

Quote by saphrax
I agree with This End Up
Last edited by This End Up at Jan 27, 2007,
#2
/I liked it, it seems very simple but i think that it all works together,
Quote by Izdigger
Arrrgh! The agony! Bring me a virgin and a cup of Devil's brew!


Quote by mr kipling
I can sweep with my boner.I have to use light strings, otherwise My penis will look like an emo wrist.
#3
woah if you sing this along with smells like teen spirit it works perfectly lol
#5
Quote by supertramp
woah if you sing this along with smells like teen spirit it works perfectly lol


haha wow i didnt even realize this, but it does work... hmmm i hate that song too
Don't try engaging me
The vaguest of shrugs
The prescription drugs
You'll never find
A person inside

Quote by saphrax
I agree with This End Up
#6
Quote by abhishek21
its ok but rhyming scheme ABABAB IN VERSES ARe totally absurd

I disagree. It's just a little uncommon.
#7
Quote by ogrish14
I disagree. It's just a little uncommon.


No. It's a big no no. You do NOT go with the A-B rhyme scheme unless you're in second grade.

This is the second song I've seen in the past five minutes with this problem.


My Guitars:
Fender Mustang.
Yamaha FG-413SL.
#8
It's got "All Apologies " written all over it till the last line. Yes, I made the connection to that Nirvana song myself. lol

I really can't say what you can do to improve this further, I mean it's plain/simple for a start and you might be following the same tune (otherwise the melody in your head is different), maybe work on the structure bit some ... but other than that, ahh well ... it's 'kay.

If possible, plz review this song of mine.

https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=513368
Wanna feel divine? Light candles around a dark and abondoned room, then play your guitar.
#9
Quote by screamsoftly
No. It's a big no no. You do NOT go with the A-B rhyme scheme unless you're in second grade.

This is the second song I've seen in the past five minutes with this problem.

Oh yeah, I forgot there are unbreakable rules to creating songs. Every song has to have the same generic rhyme scheme.
#10
i liked this song its very alternative rockish, punkish.. reminded me of a mix of green day an nirvana, but other than that, its much different that most songs, right onnnn
#11
Quote by lester2215
i liked this song its very alternative rockish, punkish.. reminded me of a mix of green day an nirvana, but other than that, its much different that most songs, right onnnn


thanks man
Don't try engaging me
The vaguest of shrugs
The prescription drugs
You'll never find
A person inside

Quote by saphrax
I agree with This End Up
#12
i thought it was pretty good. a bit repetitive but that can work sometimes. overall a very good piece.
#14
Quote by screamsoftly
No. It's a big no no. You do NOT go with the A-B rhyme scheme unless you're in second grade.

This is the second song I've seen in the past five minutes with this problem.


thats terrible logic... you dont have to create some off the wall rhyming scheme when A-B is what you think it sounds good in... I dont think most people write songs/poems for the rhyming scheme....

Sorry for being off topic, i like the song. Keep it up