#1
this songs about this dumb person i used to like.


stupid, degenerate
there, i said it
you get it
stupid head

why is it you never
said
let's be more than
freinds?

stupid, don't get it
why'd you let it
go downhill
from here?

why is it your upset
when you never said
let's be more than freinds

why is it I'm upset when you
never said let's be more than
freind's

stupid degenerate,
can't beleive it,
i said it.

gone downhill
gone downhill.

we'll never be more than just freinds
when im with you, there's nothing I wouldn't do, i just wanna be you're only one. im gasping out of straws, taken aback by what i saw that night before when we were all alone...
#2
You wrote about yourself now did you? Huzzah!

No, really now, I thought this was all very immature and lacked any form of meaning. All you did was say "yer stoopid" and repeat it the entire time. The idea behind the piece isn't original at all either.

Basically, my only advice would be that you should scrap this entirely. You could keep the idea if you really wanted, but I'd attempt to take a different approach at writing about it if I were you.
#3
Sounds very pop-punk-trying-to-be-angry.

Seemed to lack flow of all kinds. Sure, artists write songs with this mood all the time, but they're more powerful and less immature.
Looking for my India/Django.