#1
Hatred aside,
Burns deep in your eyes
Fear for future,
The dark past, so haunting…
Earth shakes,
Blood rains,
No hope, all is lost…

Chorus:
This is your destiny,
This is your mission,
This is your end!

Fighting for your nation,
Killing in the name of your god…
Obeying your generals,
Is this what you want?


A holy war…
A useless war…
A war for territory…
Praying an end for this hell…

Chorus:

Bombs fall, it’s your time…
Feels cold, lost your sight…
You see the light…

Chorus:
Esp Ltd Viper Fm-200 with EMG HZ-4
Roland MicroCube
EHX Metal Muff
Last edited by lord_of_light at Jan 30, 2007,
#2
Hatred aside,
Burns in your eyes-----mabe u could put"burns deeply in your eyes"
Fear for future,
A dark past haunting…------mabe change to,"the dark past,so huanting"
Earth shakes,
Blood rains,
No hope, all is lost…

Chorus:
Red dawn, sun rises…
Horror of the night, it’s over-your chorus doesnt rhyme at all, and seems to not fit together
For a while…

Fighting for your nation,
Killing in the name of your god…
Of your god!!-----------this verse started out good, but the ending wast good.try making it longer, taking out the second "of your god"

A holy war…
A useless war…
A war for territory…
-----------try adding jsut one line here, to better lead into chorus.
Chorus:


not bad, not good, but has potential.about 6/10

crit mine
https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=514001