#1
With my eyes wide open,
I see what you bring,
This state I'm living,
am i lying or dying,
i guess i'll just wait,

Til there's nothing to say,
To change what the day will bring,
or what drug i'll see,
Til we're born free,

The dreams that once stood,
have all now vanished,
and the lies that once worked,
are now all out of shape and noone beleives me,

Til there's nothing to say,
To change what the day will bring,
or what drug i'll see,
Til we're born free,

Now i'm knee deep,
in your sorrow,
and nothing changes the pace that i take,
and where i must lay down,
it's all just hopeless,
alot of times spent,
wishing for what's really not there,
so look at me now,
#2
With my eyes wide open,
I see what you bring,
This state I'm living,
am i lying or dying,-----i dont like this line, you have the same rhyming ending, AND same internal rhyming, thats to much
i guess i'll just wait,

Til there's nothing to say,
To change what the day will bring,---- i dont get this line, seems miss worded
or what drug i'll see,
Til we're born free,this line seems to short to work with the rest, try putting"til were born so free"

The dreams that once stood,----this seems cut off, making the read ask,"stood for what??"
have all now vanished,
and the lies that once worked,
are now all out of shape and noone beleives me,--this line is to long to fit with the rest

Til there's nothing to say,
To change what the day will bring,
or what drug i'll see,
Til we're born free,

Now i'm knee deep,
in your sorrow,
and nothing changes the pace that i take,
and where i must lay down,
it's all just hopeless,
alot of times spent,
wishing for what's really not there,----this verse doesnt really flow to well
so look at me now


its decent, jsut fix the flow issues, to make it sound like it fits together better

mine to crit
https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=514001