#1
basic concept was of escaping discrimination. homophobes, racists, that kinda thing.
c4c.

btw. this songs already been recorded, so if you dig the lyrics, please check out the song and leave a message in my other thread.
Myspace / Other Thread
----

[verse]

anxious, my beauty
we stare to the ground
as surrounding they pelt us
in torment we drown

but surely, i wonder
someday we'll be free
together, forever
we'll rest, you and me

[pre chorus]

so rest easy, sweetheart
dont cry through the night
envision our heaven
through all of our plight

the nights may speak rest
but the day screams the hate
as daylight breeds horror
in shadows we'll wait

[chorus]

summer breeze
brushing through autumn leaves
gift me your warm embrace
this is our resting place
Quote by Mistress_Ibanez

I used to hate chavs until my sister got a smack in the mouth from one. Now I love them.
Last edited by x X t o c z. at Jan 30, 2007,
#2
the lyrics are very nice i cant really see anything drastically wrong with them at all. nice, simple, clear and creative, a good combination methinks. my only complaint is if its about escaping discrimination i'd have made it more to the point. however theres some good imagery going on. also, i listened to the recording and it started off great. again, some very nice, simple guitar going on there. the vocals dissapointed me in the first stanza but they got better and altogether they really made the song.

a good song nicely done. 7.5/10

crit4crit?

http://ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=515336
Member #29 of the Fender Armada. Pm Arlabester...
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#3
I liked the song, the lyrics and the recording. I might change the 2nd part of the verse if I were you like "together, forever we'll rest you and me." I could tell you like coheed and cambria by your myspace, btw they are a great band, and the lyrics do sound similar to them. Keep up the good work. Here's my song, https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=514280
www.myspace.com/slackerfridaysolong
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#4
thanks guys.

anymore?
Quote by Mistress_Ibanez

I used to hate chavs until my sister got a smack in the mouth from one. Now I love them.