#1
Here is my first (relatively) completed song. I only say relatively because you never know when the burning need to edit comes around.

It's fast, hyper, schizophrenic, and hard. Just my style.

I welcome and encourage ANY comments. I am a new songwriter, so I'm open to all kinds of advice.

Thanks so much.
Attachments:
System Error.zip
Oppression, quiet and Repressed
Swept under the seams
the bed of the acquiesced
where we sleep, insomniac dreams
#3
Sure, which song would you like specific critique of?

I'll check them all out anyway. Let me know what you think of mine too.
Oppression, quiet and Repressed
Swept under the seams
the bed of the acquiesced
where we sleep, insomniac dreams
#5
If I could write decent solos I'd add them, but for this one I don't feel it fits well. I like your songs a lot, I can hear a lot of old school death metal in it, especially your second track. I like the style a lot actually.

How did you put a midi file up on your MySpace? I'm trying to convert from GP5 to Wave and it doesn't work well, and the midi sounds like crap.
Oppression, quiet and Repressed
Swept under the seams
the bed of the acquiesced
where we sleep, insomniac dreams
#7
Doofus yours sounds really neat, I love the arpeggio work and the two guitars work great. It almost doesn't need drums or bass. Though it's a pain, it's worth doing it.

It reminds me of a ballad almost, but a little faster and some stylic differences. I can't put my finger on it.
Oppression, quiet and Repressed
Swept under the seams
the bed of the acquiesced
where we sleep, insomniac dreams
#9
Thanks Pete07, glad you like it. Gotta check out Dilinger Escape Plan, never really listened to them before. Critted yours, very cool, see my comments there.
Oppression, quiet and Repressed
Swept under the seams
the bed of the acquiesced
where we sleep, insomniac dreams