#1
Hey guys been a little while, I had something come up in my life that sorta stopped me from being active but I'm back so I hope to start reading some great stuff of yalls.

Well this is my newest piece it started off a long time ago as "As I die for you" but I scracted that completly and all left of that is a verse that turned into the main chorus.

Its is undoubtly a brand new song, hope you enjoy.

"Through the Door"
---------
My life has always been an open door to you
You came through and left as you pleased,
Only when it was right for you
I could smell the stench of lies on your breath
Cause I know when you're with him you're not missing me.

(Chorus)
Thinking your love would heal the sore
I always let you walk through the door
never accepting that your love was like a knife
Slowly stabbing away at my life.

Once again you come back,
Did he leave you did he hurt you?
Am I just your safe home,
The place you can go when you feel all alone?

The pain you caused me is unbearable
But the love you bring is incredible
So here you come running back through the door.

(Chorus)
Thinking your love would heal the sore
I always let you walk through the door
never accepting that your love was like a knife
Slowly stabbing away at my life.

Pain agony and misery is all that you bring to me
How can I love a person who hurts me like you do?!
Was I not enough for you?
You were the princess of my fairy tale
And you just run back to the wicked ogre
Who just scars you and leaves you to rot!

(bridge)
What did you want?
I couldn’t give you any more
You’ll just come back,
But what if I close the door?(repeat x2)

(final chorus)
Knowing your love wouldn’t heal the sore
I finally decided to close the door.
I realized the pain you brought to my life
And now I’m done with you!

C4C Dont worry I'm gonna get back on the reviewing my self!
#4
i reckon the struckture of the song works well together.
the verses are powerful.

but the chorus doesnt live up to them
the rhyme scheme (sore,door, knife, life) is just a bit plain annoying
try to break it up a little bit