#1
Hello there, just thought I'd start off my life in the company of you ultimate guitarists by posting something by myself for my band Ascension (www.myspace.com/ascensionbanduk).

The first song is called 'The Time Machine' inspired by H.G Wells and the fantastic movie of the same name... please comment

We play it a bit different now, but mostly it's the same....


The second song is an excerpt from a song I'm currently working on, based on the Avatar from the Ultima series (the ultimate hero...) - it's a work in progress but I love this riff so thought I'd see what you guys all think!

Many thanks for listening!
Attachments:
Ascension-The Time Machine.zip
Ascension-The Avatar(excerpt).zip
#2
I listened to the Avatar first, because I'm a huge fan of Ultima. THIS IS SOME AWESOME STUFF MAN! You really do well with harmonies and arranging multiple guitars to create what seems like a virtual SYMPHONY of guitars, it's beautiful, and inspiring, very emotional and uplifting. You are very good at songwriting.

Critiquing as I listen, next song.


I am loving this intro, it's really well done, I LOVE the synth leads, and the guitar harmonisation is EXCELLENT. CHRIST. Can I come play in your band? Please? This is stuff I would spend 20 bucks on at Best Buy just to listen to one song on the album, but here you've shown me 2 songs that are so beautifully and intricately put together that I am utterly appaled that no one had yet rated them. Perhaps it's simply beause you arn't "Hip" enough. This stuff is great though.

Never stop staying true to this stuff, I left it when I was 18 and I'll never forgive myself. Because now I can't find another power metal band to save my life.

You've really touched me with your work my friend. This is more than worth a listen, this is the best material on UG.net's forums. Bar none.

Thank you very much,
Liam
NOTE: I will crit your songs back, I'm Dial up, be patient.
#3
Over all it was pretty good it had the riffs and licks of dragonforce but the hamony of hammerfall, but it seemed to drag on in places especially the acoustic part. It was a good contrast to the song but i would mabey cut it in half or something. It also seemed like you over thought thing a little bit to much mabey strip it down in parts and it wouldnt sound so much like you were trying to hard to make an epic

The synth and bass synth didnt really need to be there they just kinda muddied it up in placed id remove them but the lead synth was well done reminded me of dragonforce. And i like the use of an acordian for vocals it really added somthing that is hard to get on GP.

Over all well done 8.5/10
#4
Oh God how dare he overthink the writing of a song! *rolls eyes*

And of course he's trying to write an "epic" have you even realised what the source material for his inspiration is? H.G. Wells "Time Machine"? Frickin' the Ultima series?! It'd be one thing if he were writing about breaking up with his girlfriend, but these are epic topics, and epic source material, not trivial stupid things.

And that's my two cents.
NOTE: I will crit your songs back, I'm Dial up, be patient.
Last edited by Liam Efting at Feb 1, 2007,
#5
wow guys, many many thanks for listening and double thanks for the feedback and comments. That really means alot to me!

I think pieceofmind you are right about the acoustic bit, we don't even play that part live and also we don't have a keyboardist so this is kinda the "studio" version of the song... the epic drawn out version. We are actually recording the song so the acoustic part will be alot more complex than what the guitar pro shows.... It'll have much more going on, more synths and stuff like that so hopefully it should be ok!

Liam, many thanks for you comments friend! I am so glad you enjoyed those songs, makes me want to get my ass in gear and post more up! Or at least finish the Avatar hehe

Thanks for listening guys, and as always if you have anything you want me to listen to in return please feel free to post a link and i'll crit back!!


Edit: just a note about the material... i feel the song has to be epic to do justice to the Time Machine - if you read the lyrics in the song (vocal track and F5) you will see the pain and suffering and emotion I had to try and capture with it... very difficult! He can never get back his fiance, and the time machine just acts as a way for him to watch her die over and over again by the paradox of time he can't use it to save her (this is specific to the movie I think)... when I saw the movie I knew I had to make a song from it! -note about the solos, we just kinda make up solos when we jam the song as a band, so all I have there is the scale, I find it easier to think when I see the scale I need to use sitting in front of me hehe...

The Avatar... well what can I say... if you know, then you know! The greatest hero, the embodiment of the virtues, and the ultimate sacrifice?? This will be the first of MANY songs about the ultima series, already planned / started are:

"Guardian"
"Orb of the Moons" instrumental
and something about Dupre's saving the Avatar!
Last edited by Docaroo at Feb 2, 2007,
#6
Just checking, is your band name a reference to Ultima as well? As in Ultima IX : Ascension for the PC? Just wondering =P I'm a geek, I know
NOTE: I will crit your songs back, I'm Dial up, be patient.
#7
haha no it's not actually... I didn't think of Ultima when we came up with the name... we were trying very hard to think of something... me and Gregor were watching Stargate one day and it was an episode where Daniel ascends... and we thought - hey that'll do!!

Then later I thought, cool this ties in with Ultima IX - realy must do a song about it
#8
Time machine: It was good, it was epic, it was very well written, but it sounded really unoriginal to me. It sounds waaaay too much like a dragonforce song. Don't get me wrong, i liked it a lot, you're definitely a great writer, but i think you should try to be just a little more original...

The avatar: not bad, but not great either, but it looks unfinished so I can't really crit it.

crit mine?
https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=516515

grtz
#10
Time Machine:

Wow extrmely similar to dragonforce. The intro harmonies were sick, but sounded a little bit muddy at times.

Eventually though, it got a little too boring. Try mixing the chord progressions up a bit. It's like your doing the same hting but with just a minor change each time. The ratio of different riffs/key changes/chord changes is too low in relation to the length of the hting. Maybe it'll sound fuller with vocals, but I cant tell right now.

Overall, cool song, but it could use some spicing up And welcome to UG
Alta Vera - My real life alternative rock band.
Ashen Spire - My personal metal band.

Super Mario, F-Zero & Dragonball Z covers!

PSN: whatev27

Let me ask you, does a machine like yourself ever experience fear?

#11
I LOVED Time Machine haha, it wasn't corny like most power metal songs are. It was just awesome, so was the movie lol. I haven't had a chance to listen to the other one, but I will eventually.
#12
Absolutely brilliant! There isnt much I can add to these songs.

The Time Machine was like DragonForce but with meaningful lyrics rather than cheasy and wasnt too fast either. It must have taken ages to write and i think with the solos put in it will be even better. The only critism is the acoustic section should have had a little more melody because it got a little boring after a while. Love the synths and keys as well which must have been difficult to do.

The avatar was good as well the intro is great and I liked the long instrumental sections especially the acoustic section which was one of the best i've heard, very melodic and I liked the harmonies too. It ended a bit abruptly though.

2 wonderfully created songs. Must have taken ages. You have great songwriting talent.
#13
Firsly, i think the melody that you've written is terrific, up there with the best power metal bands for sure. In fact the whole tab reads like something from a band that has played/toured for years. Your verses are great, the flow is perfect, everything just follows on perfectly.

The only real flaws i can find in the song is that

a) Its a tad long and perhaps repeats itself too many times in a couple sections, in particular at the end. Its not a major issue and it would probably be easier to fix with an actual live recording of the song
b) The lyrics seemed a tad simple/cheesy. I know its based on the Time Machine and you want to tell that story, but they just seemed a little too obvious and simple.

Anyway, its a fantastic song, you're band obviously has a lot of potential.

My song if you want to crit it:
https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=518359
#14
excellent songs. i thought that the first riff (and background riff) was extremely similar sounding to the riff in second heartbeat by ax7. just my opinion tho
#15
never heard of that avenged song ... infact any song of them - don't like em, but i'm sure I wrote my riff before they did since this is an old old song
#16
well i was going to crit this before school but since its 400 bars and my ride is coming in like 5 minutes i dont think I have the time, ill get to it after school, so check back in like 8 hours or so
My Gear:
Fender American Deluxe Stratocaster
Epiphone Sheraton II
Fender Blues Deluxe Reissue
Teese RMC Picture Wah
MXR Carbon Copy
Keeley Modded TS9
Korg Pitchblack
Schecter Omen 6
Dean Performer Acoustic

#18
both are amazing, i read through the vocals on time machine as the song was playing theyre pretty good, both were great where are the real recordings?
#19
Quote by GarrieMushet
Change your style.

You're never going to be successful if you write songs like that. No record companies want another dragonforce. And no fans want it either.


dont be an ass, ppl dont play a certain genre just to be successful and get signed, they play it because they enjoy playin it and theyre good at it, now feck off so we can listen to it without hers like you annoying everyone
#20
Quote by GarrieMushet
Change your style.

You're never going to be successful if you write songs like that. No record companies want another dragonforce. And no fans want it either.


If you bothered to listen to my band's myspace I'm sure you'd note that we are NOTHING like Dragonforce:

try again:

www.myspace.com/ascensionbanduk

And neither is this song with the exception of the fast riff.