#1
It's just a rough draft, so I'm sure I made 30,000 typos

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Caligula is in his house on a very special episode of "Ancient Rome Cribz", He describes some of his political achievements, and his life styleby describing items in his house.

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"What it do plebeians? Ever wonder what it's like to be like me, Caligula- the third Roman Emperor? Well I'm about to show you..."

-Walks over to Horses.-

"First let me show you my rides, first of all here is my favorite horse Incitatus, check out how ballin'this is, as you can see, Incitatus has his own crib too, his crib is made up of a marble stable, an ivory manger, and some purple blankets, and oh yeah check out his collar, made up of the most percious gems of Rome Y'all, BALLIN!!! Ayway this horse is so fly I've even been thinking abot making him a consul because he is a combination of all the gods, y'all know what I mean?"

Begins walking over to house but briefly coughs.

"Sorry y'all; I've been feeling a little under the weather lately."

-Enters House-

"Yo we got a few photographs here as you can see, thse are some of my political achievements, y'all mean, I mean I don't have too many, but that's cool ya dig.. Yo these things are hot y'all, I got one made for me when I went through a time machine to the 20th century... BALLIN'!!"

(Picks up a picture)

"Oh yeah, this was tight.. this right here was when I first got elected.. this is a picture of the crowd, that place was jumpin y'all, everyone was saying "Oooh my baby, ooooh my starrrr." It was tight for real though, someone told me about 160,000 people were sacrificed during that party (pauses) Dannnnng Ballin'."

(Picks up new picture)

"Yeah this was from that same era, I look pretty stressed out in this picture because I had just granted bonuses to the Praetorian Guards, ripped up Tiberius's treason papers, BALLIN!"

(Picks up new picture)

"Yeah brah, dis was when Mauretania was annexed"

(Picks up new picture)

"This was when Herod Agrippa was appointed governor of Judaea"

"Yeah so those pictures were tight, now let's move on to the bedroom, where it all goes down lolz (pauses) seriously though I'm not joking, ask my doctor."

Walks To bedroom

"Yeah so this is my bed, I have had lots of people on this bed, male and female, and for the kids at home, I do not advocate this behavior, This reckless lifestyle of drinking, bathing with other people, and sex has gotten me very, VERY ill, and that is not BALLIN'."

"But yeah like I said, I'm gonna be straight with you, I enjoy drinking so let's move on to the Wine cellar."

Walks to Cellar.

"Yeah there is alot of tight wine in here, but I do not know how to pronounce any of the brands, so we aren't gonna spend alot of time in here... Oh yeah how can I forget shoes brah, I have a shoe shack right outside.. let's go there"

Walks To shoe shack.

"Some of Y'all may not know this, but Caligula means "little soldier's boot" I got that name when I was in the army, and people would put on my boots.. Anyway, ever since then shoes have been a big part of my life... So here are some of my shoes, We got some clear air force ones, but right now they ain't clean cause some dude stepped on them, Dannng Brah, I'm thinking about getting him put to death"

(Long Pause)

"Wait... do you guys hear that."

Man runs by and beats Caligula.

"Caligula, I'm sick of you being or Roman Emperor, and acting so cruelly to the Senate, this is for all the years of pain you have caused too us, your wife is dead, your child is dead, and your horse is dead."

"Nooooo Help, someone please help."

Guardsmen looks down at Caligula and kicks him one more time.

"Oh yeah, and I stepped on your shoes."

THE END!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Quote by Chevylegend454
Ddarkgod667 Your my hero
for today at least


Quote by Home_EG
I don't get it...

Dave Mustaine?

Is that the guy who wasn't good enough for Metallica?



If you like Nu-metal... check these guy's myspace out
#3
Quote by Powerhouse
F-



That would be true in any other history class, except for mine.
††††††††††††††††††††

Quote by Chevylegend454
Ddarkgod667 Your my hero
for today at least


Quote by Home_EG
I don't get it...

Dave Mustaine?

Is that the guy who wasn't good enough for Metallica?



If you like Nu-metal... check these guy's myspace out
#4
Quote by Ddarkgod667
That would be true in any other history class, except for mine.


Damn you to hell!!! i clicked the link in your sig
Quote by Virgil_Hart05
Beating the elderly is a big favourite of mine. Also, pushing kids over and kicking pregnant women in the womb is fun.



Right now we're called 'Various Artists' just to fuck over people with iPods
#5
Terrible.

Don't want to be an actor pretending on the stage
Don't want to be a writer with my thoughts out on the page
Don't want to be a painter 'cause everyone comes to look
Don't want to be anything where my life's an open book

Phish - Waste
#8
im assuming that your in a history class full of people who have nothing better to do than watch B.E.T all day, thus making them the only one's who would actually understand what your trying to say.
#9
Quote by patch adams
is it just me or are there three threads about history projects right now?



I noticed that too, but mine is the best, because it contains bad humor...
††††††††††††††††††††

Quote by Chevylegend454
Ddarkgod667 Your my hero
for today at least


Quote by Home_EG
I don't get it...

Dave Mustaine?

Is that the guy who wasn't good enough for Metallica?



If you like Nu-metal... check these guy's myspace out
#10
Quote by ironmaiden=life
im assuming that your in a history class full of people who have nothing better to do than watch B.E.T all day, thus making them the only one's who would actually understand what your trying to say.



Actually yes, but it's a joke..
††††††††††††††††††††

Quote by Chevylegend454
Ddarkgod667 Your my hero
for today at least


Quote by Home_EG
I don't get it...

Dave Mustaine?

Is that the guy who wasn't good enough for Metallica?



If you like Nu-metal... check these guy's myspace out
#11
So like... what grade are you in?
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#12
With an educational system that would accept something like that, no wonder people can't even spell.
Dear God, do you actually answer prayers?

Yes, but only in a way indistinguishable from random luck or the result of your own efforts.