#1
So here it is. The ultimate list of guy codes and rules that we have amongst each other for nobility/loyalty/friendship/prevention of STDS/just because. Everyone contribute, but dont post stupid rubbish that you know is totally gay. Just in case you were wondering.

1. Your friend breaks up with a girl. You must wait a minimum of three months before even considering getting with her in any way, shape, or form. In some cases, you may never get with her. This is called the "rebound".

2. Scenario: you get a ride with your friend to a party. The friend who drove gets with a chick and wants to leave early with her. You automatically oblige to finding another way home. Gotta root for your buds like that.

3. Your buddy is drunk and passes out. He's game to anything, fair and square, no questions asked.

4. Any amount of money lent out that's less than $5 should not have to be returned. The exception is when the mooch in question is borrowing $5 all the time. Then he may be sacked.

5. Your buddy is drunk and thinks the ugliest girl at the party is smokin hot and wants to hook up with her. You are entitled to knocking him unconscious to prevent the tragedy.

6. Your buddy needs a condom and you have one or two. Give one to him.

7. You're sober, your buddy's trashed. Take his keys from him. Last thign we need is more orphans.

8. (haha) Your friend has a hot mom or sister. You're automatically allowed to joke about nailing her, but god help you if you ever actually do it. You'll go to hell no questions asked. (Slash_Hudson)

9. It is absolutely unacceptable to talk to other men in the toilets at different stages of the toileting process. If you're at the urinal, you may only talk to those at the urinal. If washing hands, you may only talk to those washing hands. NEVER talk to a man entering as you are exiting, or vice versa. This makes you stop in the restroom, giving you temptation to look at another man. The only communication allowed in this scenario is a nod and a manly grunt. (DeliriumBassist)

10. Dont let your friend change is style (ex. To goth,emo etc.) for a girl.Make sure he stays true to himself. (Im_Special2 or whatever)

Add to the list guys!
Quote by yellowfrizbee
What does a girl have to do to get it in the butt thats all I ever wanted from you. Why, Ace? Why? I clean my asshole every night hoping and wishing and it never happens.
Bitches be Crazy.

▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬ஜ۩۩ஜ▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬
Last edited by Ace88 at Feb 2, 2007,
#3
haha this is good I am gonna think about that and maybe get back to this thread later. Funny idea, although im sure its been done a million times.
#5
It is absolutely unacceptable to talk to other men in the toilets at different stages of the toileting process. If you're at the urinal, you may only talk to those at the urinal. If washing hands, you may only talk to those washing hands. NEVER talk to a man entering as you are exiting, or vice versa. This makes you stop in the restroom, giving you temptation to look at another man. The only communication allowed in this scenario is a nod and a manly grunt.
#6
Wait, so why do we need to read this?

So we can be warned that guys are sleazy assholes with a set of rules ensuring they can get a quick shag at every opportunity? Thank you.
The will to neither strive nor cry,
The power to feel with others give.
Calm, calm me more; nor let me die
Before I have begun to live.

-Matthew Arnold

Arguments are to be avoided; they are always vulgar and often convincing.
#7
Dont let your friend change is style (ex. To goth,emo etc.) for a girl.Make sure he stays true to himself.
Zebra! llll llll llll llll llll

Save the Zebra's
#8
Don't talk to us when we're peeing. You're not sharing a special, heart-to-heart, manhug kind of moment, you're just sharing adjacent urinals. You just stare ahead in awkward silence, as though the other party isn't present.

--Red
"My idea is that there is music in the air, music all around us; the world is full of it, and you simply take as much as you require." - Edward Elgar
#9
in addition to the toilet one, there must be a gap of at least one urinal either side of you to preserve the 'comfort zone' (also known as the splash zone)

hehe... my wife and kids...
Quote by Felkara
Dude, you just made the most intelligent post in this entire thread. Congrats.
#10
Quote by The Overlord
in addition to the toilet one, there must be a gap of at least one urinal either side of you to preserve the 'comfort zone' (also known as the splash zone)

hehe... my wife and kids...


if there are 3 seperate urinals, as opposed to the big ones, always go to the outside ones. Never the middle. By going in the middle, this automatically condemns another man to stand next to you. This can be considered weird.
#11
Quote by Dinkydaisy
Wait, so why do we need to read this?

So we can be warned that guys are sleazy assholes with a set of rules ensuring they can get a quick shag at every opportunity? Thank you.


Quote by Samnung
im gunna rape u

Quote by GuitarManiac09
Stay away you freak....I dont want you spreading your hideous crab population..




METALLICA AT WEMBLEY 08/07/07
#12
When you fuck your friends sister don't tell him all about it. He doesn't want to know that his sister sucks good cock or shaves her cooch
if you can't be a good example
be a bad warning


Quote by aequitasveritas
lol, so i got a boner this one time and i was watching tv, so i decided to hump the little crack between the two cushions of the couch. yeah.


www.free-game-downloads.mosw.com
Last edited by Gummy Balls at Feb 2, 2007,
#14
Quote by Dinkydaisy
Wait, so why do we need to read this?

So we can be warned that guys are sleazy assholes with a set of rules ensuring they can get a quick shag at every opportunity? Thank you.


Way to stereotype, I hope you don't think every guys like that...

Always warn each other of potential bitches that could **** them up, should go with out saying, got to have your mate's best interests.
#15
NEVER and I repeat NEVER get up to get yourself a beer without either
a.) Getting your friend a beer without even asking if he needs one.
b.) Ask around the room if and who needs an other beer.

Thats a good one.
#16
If you walk in to a room of other men watching sports, you may ask what the score is. NEVER what teams are playing

If you are at a friend's house, and take a beer, you must replace this with a 6 pack during your next visit

NEVER complement your male friend on his clothing. EVER.
#18
This is the most useless thing I've ever seen. And I didn't read all of it.

Does this make me a girl?
#19
Quote by CatahulaBassist
wait, girls go on this site?
chicks don't play guitar!

Turns out they do. Some of us even play bass, God forbid.

Quote by nevermindaboutm

Way to stereotype, I hope you don't think every guys like that...

From what the threadstarter has put, it falls into the sterotypical guy. I don't think every guy is like that by any means of the imagination, though we both know some are, and this thread only enforces that thought.

But no, I don't think every guy to be like that. The vast majority are pleasant enough.
The will to neither strive nor cry,
The power to feel with others give.
Calm, calm me more; nor let me die
Before I have begun to live.

-Matthew Arnold

Arguments are to be avoided; they are always vulgar and often convincing.
#20
If you have a gay friend, and you call him gay, the straight friend is open game for all insults, including (my personal favourite) "you wanna know how I know you're gay? (pause) Gaydar (tap your temple lightly)"
Will says:
DON'T FEAR THE REAPER!
- SmarterChild - says:
I don't know if I can help it.

Member #6 of the "I play my guitar as high as Tom Morello does" club
#21
Never, ever let your girlfriend/wife drive, unless your drunk. Even in this case it's safer to take a cab.

edit: that was kinda mean, sorry girls i can be stereotypical sometimes.
nothing to see here
#22
This is a pitiful attempt to recreate the list of "Man Laws". I suggest you google the hell out of it.
To see a World in a Grain of Sand
And a Heaven in a Wild Flower
Hold Infinity in the palm of your hand
And Eternity in an hour
#23
Not really "guys' code of conduct"

just "guys who are tools' code of conduct"
#24
What is this, a mockery of the man laws? Be gone with thee!
ANDRE THE GIANT HAS A POSSE

Peace (sells)
#25
From what the threadstarter has put, it falls into the sterotypical guy. I don't think every guy is like that by any means of the imagination, though we both know some are, and this thread only enforces that thought.


These codes of conduct are enforced only in the case of the situation! Not all guys go out prowling for sex, you know.
Quote by yellowfrizbee
What does a girl have to do to get it in the butt thats all I ever wanted from you. Why, Ace? Why? I clean my asshole every night hoping and wishing and it never happens.
Bitches be Crazy.

▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬ஜ۩۩ஜ▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬
#28
MAN LAWS!!!

Beat you to it, you will find that it is better in every way, shape, and form.
Random Metal-X fact:

Metal-X now sponsors: Blood Culprit!


"Ass Fuckingly Loud"

\m/^_^\m/ New Songs Up!!! \m/^_^\m/
#30
If you come across another man while exiting the restroom, NEVER look him up and down, which signals that you're interested in him, that way, you can avoid getting beat up or having unwanted sexual encounters.
Known.
Some.
Call.
Is.
Air.
Am?

Incoherent - yes.
Without meaning - I'm afraid not.

"Known some call is air am."
Which is to say-

"I am not what I used to be"
#31
Who said we dont' go prowling for ass? Oh hell no, I KNOW you weren't serious... >=\
͏͏͏
۩۩۩۩۩۩۩Ƒyre Ðeity۩۩۩۩۩۩۩

Quote by Here_is_no_why

"Hey Mike, did your mom have a C section when she gave birth to you? Because I wanna make sure she's tight before I bang her."
#32
Threadstarter shall now henceforth be known as "Manbitch" by trying to re-create the man laws, intentionaly or not.
#33
Does no one else find this particular stereotype wearing?
On vacation from modding = don't pm me with your pish