#1
This is a punk song I wrote A little while ago tell me what you think

Verse:
It's so obvious
That you and I just don't connect
Like we did in the past

Remembering back when
I just wanted to make you smile
Things just aren't the way they were before

Chorus:
And now I'm running out of things to say
And now I'm running out of things to do
And i'm sorry if this breaks your heart
But it's obvious were better off apart

Verse:
It's so obvious
The way you look at me
Like I'm someone else

Remembering back when
All I wanted to do
was spend time with you
Things aren't what they apear to be

Chorus

Guitar solo

Chorus

end

Crit4crit
With an irresistible blend of reggae induced hip-hop and catchy pop-punk hooks, Half Chance Heroes captivates audiences with their unique sound and energetic stage show. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T8bSU0u8uvM
#2
its kinda generic cliche lines put together, but none the less, put to music it could be farely good

crit my newest please?
Don't try engaging me
The vaguest of shrugs
The prescription drugs
You'll never find
A person inside

Quote by saphrax
I agree with This End Up
#3
t's so obvious
That you and I just don't connect
Like we did in the past
=============first verse is short, sounds choped off, try adding second verse to it.
Remembering back when
I just wanted to make you smile
Things just aren't the way they were before
============decent, nothin special
Chorus:
And now I'm running out of things to say
And now I'm running out of things to do
And i'm sorry if this breaks your heart
But it's obvious were better off apart
=========here, it sounded liek you were running out of things to write here.
Verse:
It's so obvious
The way you look at me
Like I'm someone else
========again, add in the vverse after this one to it to make it longer
Remembering back when
All I wanted to do
was spend time with you
Things aren't what they apear to be

Chorus

Guitar solo

Chorus

end


not bad, nothing really special about it, sorry.it sounds like every other love/break up song. try adding in you own touch to it, add in more unique phrases tomake it original