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#1
^well what is it?
a guy once asked me how to do an Am chord, and hes been playing for 6 monthes with a teacher.....
Quote:
guy-get an ak-47 shoot him and blame it on his dog
man-he dont have one... can someone siriously help me?!
guy-just jack one froma local pet store. throw it in his yard. shoot him. duck tape the ak-14 to the dogs paw. run.. use gloves.
#3
one guy asked me how a bass was tuned. he has been playing the whole semester.

he thought it was F-A-C-E.


oh and another guy asked me how to use the search button... but it wasnt you.
Dissonance is Bliss


Signal Chain:
Carvin CT-4
Ibanez TS-9
Carvin Quad-X
TC Electronics G-Major
Mesa/Boogie 2:90
Ear Candy BuzzBomb



Member #4 of the Carvin Club
#4
where do i strum?
Quote by nodice182
Denny Crane.

Quote by dmiwshicldply
touche vman, touche

mate. feed. kill. repeat.
#5
so how exactly do you play this?
after he had just bought a BC rich warlock
#6
Quote by Doodleface
one guy asked me how a bass was tuned. he has been playing the whole semester.

he thought it was F-A-C-E.


oh and another guy asked me how to use the search button... but it wasnt you.


still, owned
Wise Man Says: The guitar is obviously female, she's got hips, breasts... and a hole.
UG's Flamenco Club
#7
"Hey, can you play biowww dee dee bowwdiddy bow, lolz"
BRIGHT LIGHTS PUT ME IN A TRANCE.
but it aint house music that makes me want to dance.
#8
Where are the other two strings? (About my bass)

Too bad that i get this question atleast 5 times a week..
For long you live and high you fly
But only if you ride the tide
And balanced on the biggest wave
You race toward an early grave.


Ben Hamelech
#9
Why can't I play gooder like you? yeah, not only was the question stupid (he had been playing a couple months...I've been playing about three years) but his grammar was dumb as shit. Oh, and I've had one like Little Man above too.
Can you play, tee tee dee wah wah a balouchi? dumb ass.
If you were a man I would punch you. I would punch you right in the mouth.
#10
"Can you play Serrana? If not your shit!" (Not Sarcastically) Coming from a kid who has been playing for about...3 months and can barely play Symphony of Destruction...
#11
My friend asked me what the difference was between a bass and a normal six string guitar. I just explained it for like 5 minutes, showed them the two guitars. She asked again the next day
#12
"wait, so you have to push buttons on the neck to make notes? i thought that was just to hold on to?"
Dillion Les Paul Goldtop Copy (seymore duncan soapbars)
Toneworks AX3000G guitar processor
Marshall MG100HDFX/MG412 Half Stack
Squier Stratocaster (backup)
Peavey StudioPro 50
Fender Frontman 15
CarloRobelli Acoustic
Early 70's Carlos acoustic
#13
Not the most stupid but the most irritating

Can you play electric guitar if you can play acoustic? Can you play both?

Yes

*GASP*
A recent study shows that 8% of teenagers listen to nothing but music with guitars in it. Put this in your sig if you're one of the 92% who aren't close-minded morons.
#14
Quote by peteyjones
"wait, so you have to push buttons on the neck to make notes? i thought that was just to hold on to?"

You win the thread!
#15
usually they ask you to play something then they walk off half way through....and someone whos been playing for 3 years asks me everday what a G chord is. he thinks its called the "time of your life chord"and most people ask for a "pluck" (plectrum)
Quote by darkstar2466

I love you.


Quote by rabidguitarist

Can I be your adopted parent? I'd love you like a real son.


"Arguing over the internet is like the special olympics. No matter who wins, your both still retards." - A man of many muffins
#17
while i was arriving at a lesson a couple years ago, i saw the previous guy leaving saying: "what exactly is a chord?"

instructor: "its just two or more notes played simultaneously"

guy: "i dont think i want to learn that. are there any other instructors here that dont make you learn chords?"

instructor "no"

guy "any books!?"
#18
"where are the batteries for your electric guitar, or does it come with a cable?" this guy at school asked me that.
Quote by bearded_monkey
Oh man thats amazing, you win midi pure. I don't care whether it's a competition or not


Quote by halvies


could have been 3 's but there wasn't nearly enough exclamation marks to emphasize the anger/disbelief

oh yeah
#19
It wasn't a question, but more of some idiot telling me at the auditions for our school's talent show: "What the f*ck are you doing man!? You don't need to press down the strings to make notes you're doing it wrong!"
Seinfeld
The Gear:
Fender John Mayer Sig. Strat
Hughes & Kettner Edition Blue 60
Dunlop Crybaby
Ibanez Tubescreamer
Damn right, I've got the blues.
#20
heres one for ya. My friends bud wanted to get a bass and he saw one at the pawn shop and he said.. " Yeah IT"S A GOOD BASS< IT COMES IN TUNE AND EVERYTHING" we couldn't laugh it down!!
Gear:

Crappy Samick Guitar
4x12 Cabinet
Guitar Rig 2
Computer
Peavey Bass
Bass Master 200 Watt bass amp
#21
Quote by midi pure
"where are the batteries for your electric guitar, or does it come with a cable?" this guy at school asked me that.


well some electric guitar do have batteries in them
#22
ok so some people here have been asked some stupid stuff but im really growing sick of arrogant twats on this site thinking theyre better than people because they know a lot about guitar im sick of the 'omfg i met a noob the other day who didnt know how to play a b minor chord huh'
#23
Quote by hendrixrocks4
well some electric guitar do have batteries in them

Active humbuckers take batteries, but I don't think the kid who asked the question knew that.
#24
a friend was playing my electric guitar unplugged, and he said,

i didn't know guitar had a built in radio

no, they don't

so what's the point for all th ose knobs
#25
Quote by deluxity
a friend was playing my electric guitar unplugged, and he said,

i didn't know guitar had a built in radio

no, they don't

so what's the point for all th ose knobs

LMFAO that's priceless
Gear:

Crappy Samick Guitar
4x12 Cabinet
Guitar Rig 2
Computer
Peavey Bass
Bass Master 200 Watt bass amp
#26
[During a conversation on SGs:]"Yeah, did you know that 'SG' stands for 'Sonny Gibson?'"
[During a conversation about my Les Paul:]"Doesn't Fender own the people who makes them?"
[Also about my Les Paul:]"Where are the pickups at?"
Music is a weapon. Use it wisely.


"So retire the ships, the final voyage was his ..."


Quote by kaktusnpoop (on Norma Jean)
I think they use Botch guitars tuned to drop Botch.
#27
Quote by mya/shmoosh
ok so some people here have been asked some stupid stuff but im really growing sick of arrogant twats on this site thinking theyre better than people because they know a lot about guitar im sick of the 'omfg i met a noob the other day who didnt know how to play a b minor chord huh'


Listen, I know what you a trying to say....and to save a lot of embarrassment; I'll help you out.

e|-2----7|
B|-3----7|
G|-4-or-7|
D|-4----9|
A|-2----9|
E|------7|
#29


EDIT: To Mayday
Seinfeld
The Gear:
Fender John Mayer Sig. Strat
Hughes & Kettner Edition Blue 60
Dunlop Crybaby
Ibanez Tubescreamer
Damn right, I've got the blues.
#31
Quote by Ranxston
Sure all of these are funny, but none of you were any better before.


no matter how dumb most of us are in the pit, i think we can think logically enough to figure out what the body and what the neck might be of a guitar. remember, we're talking about the dumbest things said to us.


Quote by _Mayday_
Quote by mya/shmoosh
ok so some people here have been asked some stupid stuff but im really growing sick of arrogant twats on this site thinking theyre better than people because they know a lot about guitar im sick of the 'omfg i met a noob the other day who didnt know how to play a b minor chord huh'

Listen, I know what you a trying to say....and to save a lot of embarrassment; I'll help you out.

e|-2----7|
B|-3----7|
G|-4-or-7|
D|-4----9|
A|-2----9|
E|------7|

owned
Wise Man Says: The guitar is obviously female, she's got hips, breasts... and a hole.
UG's Flamenco Club
Last edited by FretboardToAsh at Feb 3, 2007,
#32
Quote by Strongbow
Not the most stupid but the most irritating

Can you play electric guitar if you can play acoustic? Can you play both?

Yes

*GASP*



i get that one all the time
#33
"can u teach me "Smoke on the Water" without using power chords?"
v CLICK v



Quote by musicjunkie207
The time I fell on my face on a trampoline and cracked my neck, then proceded to run around the yard in a blind panic screaming "I hope I'm not paralyzed! OH GOD I THINK I'M PARALYZED!"
#34
Quote by _Mayday_
Listen, I know what you a trying to say....and to save a lot of embarrassment; I'll help you out.

e|-2----7|
B|-3----7|
G|-4-or-7|
D|-4----9|
A|-2----9|
E|------7|

Wow, way to seem like an ass. The guy had a point, just because people don't know things about an instrument doesn't mean they're complete dumbasses.
#35
Quote by noahray
while i was arriving at a lesson a couple years ago, i saw the previous guy leaving saying: "what exactly is a chord?"

instructor: "its just two or more notes played simultaneously"

guy: "i dont think i want to learn that. are there any other instructors here that dont make you learn chords?"

instructor "no"

guy "any books!?"


Haha that teacher's an idiot.
#36
Quote by musiclover2399
Wow, way to seem like an ass. The guy had a point, just because people don't know things about an instrument doesn't mean they're complete dumbasses.





#38
Some guy asked me what a humbucker was, and apparently he'd been playing for 5 years (electric, mind you, and it was an Ibanez GRX40.)

hai guize join mah gr00pz plz kthx:

#39
"How do you connect the guitar to the amp?"

Asked by me when I first got an electric guitar.

WHAT HAVE YOU DONE
#40
Quote by Sanctus Ignis
Some guy asked me what a humbucker was, and apparently he'd been playing for 5 years (electric, mind you, and it was an Ibanez GRX40.)



heh, me and my friends used to think a single coil was called a hummucker and a "double single coil" a humbucker
Wise Man Says: The guitar is obviously female, she's got hips, breasts... and a hole.
UG's Flamenco Club
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