#1
Wrapped in porcelain
Broken glass
Lost in daydreams
From the past
Searching something
Pure to hold
I've lost my feet again
Forget what I've been told

So where did we go wrong?
Together for so long
It's not a point of view
The thought of losing you
It makes my body shake
The tears run down my face
Its not a point of view

Why do we build structure so strong
Upon foundation frail?
Torn down by a kiss

Why do we assume, if you get just one shot, we wont miss?
All you know it how to feel
Broken concept, Achilles heel
Don't let that bring down all this

And if confusion comes my way
I'll greet him with a smile
And if confusion comes my way
And if the answers aren't so easy
I will blame it all on love
Blame it on her melody
Originally posted by guitarkid27
RobbieMac2002 gives good advice.
#2
Wrapped in porcelain
Broken glass
Lost in daydreams
From the past
Searching something
Pure to hold
I've lost my feet again
Forget what I've been told
====nice opening
So where did we go wrong?===this line is already in alot of songs, try rewording
Together for so long
It's not a point of view
The thought of losing you
It makes my body shake
The tears run down my face
Its not a point of view

Why do we build structure so strong
Upon foundation frail?
Torn down by a kiss
========this part sounds to short, as if theres mroe to it, but it was chopped off.
Why do we assume, if you get just one shot, we wont miss?===try breaking this line up into like 2 or 3 lines
All you know it how to feel
Broken concept, Achilles heel
Don't let that bring down all this

And if confusion comes my way
I'll greet him with a smile
And if confusion comes my way
And if the answers aren't so easy
I will blame it all on love
Blame it on her melody====last 2 lines dont seem to fit. ur talking how u like love someone or sumthing liek that(or so it sounds) and then u would blame it on her/him?

overal pretty good.7.5/10

crit my new one if you could