#1
Two Brownie points for anyone to comment on the origins of the title without the use of Google, or any other search engine-encyclopædia.

I slipped effortlessly into a silent slumber
Sipping on sunbeams a golden hue;
Tossing and turning in tantalising dreams
Of ill-repute satisfaction;
Colourless green ideas sleep furiously

I awoke in a wondrous and wandering manner
Wishing the swirling waters well;
Giving thanks to the thirty thirsty theatricalities
Of self-obsessed degradation.

The washer-woman whispered a priceless pearl in my ear:
Colourless green ideas sleep furiously
#4
*Breaaaathe*

Ahhhh. The aroma of sophistication. Let us compliment the:
- Word usage. Lately I only read "I feel sad. I hurt. Me feel badly".
- Imagery. Very colorful images here.
- Metaphors. Well thought out, I believe...
- Creativity. This is really out there, in terms of originality.

Let us insult:

- The color font! It hurts to read it!!

And, correct me if I'm wrong, but the "Colorless blah blah..."... Was that not from a Mr. Chomsky, an example of something that is grammatically correct, but makes no sense?

Edit: The Royal Blue is fine, but that deep blue...
Last edited by Zuka at Feb 8, 2007,
#5
Ms. Zuka of Saskatchewan, two Brownie points for you (I'm trusting you on this one). 'Twas indeed Noam Chomsky. Thank you for the kind words, and as for the font colour, I shall discret[e]ly tell you to bugger off. I have a reputation to uphold; blue, blue, and more blue. But, yes, thank you muchly.
#6
In general, your word choice and imagery are top shelf.

My favorite stanza, by far, is

I awoke in a wondrous and wandering manner
Wishing the swirling waters well;
Giving thanks to the thirty thirsty theatricalities
Of self-obsessed degradation.


I'm not sure of the significance of "thirty", but "thirsty theatricalities of self-obsessed degradation" is a most excellent line. As is "I awoke in a wondrous and wandering manner / Wishing the swirling waters well." Wonderful, wonderful word choice and the alliteration is great.

I definitely get the impression that you've spent a lot of time on this one. I like it a whole lot. I always like to make my criticisms constructive, but I can't really find any serious weak points in this poem. Nice work.

At any rate, if you wouldn't mind critting mine...

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